After my “green toilet” post the other day, I started thinking more about my pet peeves. I’m hoping that, in reading what mine are, you will come away being bothered about more petty things than you already are. Here are seven:

1. Substituting a “k” for a “c” or a “z” for an “s”. I passed a car wash today called Klean Karz…no lie. It was as though the owner is a secret nemesis of mine and started this business just to spite me.
2. Adult baby talk. Some people can’t help themselves. I understand that. But it really chaps me when adults ask my son a question (in a baby voice) that is obviously directed at me: “Bay, what’s Daddy finkin bout the cuwent economic cwisis?”
3. Calling adolescents “teens”. This one is absurd, I know. But if I had a nickel for every time someone informed me about a teen conference that is for teens and their teen friends that will be hosting teen experts and giving away Extreme Teen Bibles…I’d have close to 25 cents.
4. Papyrus font. Or what I like to call “the official overused church and/or independent coffee shop font”.
5. Closing eyes while talking. This is where someone starts talking, and during the first six words of the sentence, it looks like they’re trying to get their eyelids to come unglued from one another.
6. Misplaced quotations. This is a paradox for me. While it is one of my biggest pet peeves, it is also one of my greatest sources of entertainment.
7. Presidential interruptions. Come on, Mr. President! Ever heard of Biggest Loser? Tonight was the emotional episode! Bob cried! Now I have to wait until tomorrow to see what happens with the weigh-in. Apparently something’s going on with the economy. Who knew?

There are surely more to come. Now that I’ve imposed these on you, I feel like its only fair that you have a chance to burden me with yours. Let’s hear them.