This is for those of you who enjoy the Amazing Body Contortionist (and his sidekick Anthony Razz). Take a look at his humble beginnings at our YL club…

I’m leaving for Young Life camp today, so I thought this would be a good weekend to auto-post 3 of my favorite Young Life moments/videos over the past six years or so. Check back tomorrow and Sunday for some gems.

I listen to Neil Boortz sometimes on the radio. When I do, I often leave pissed about issues that I didn’t even know were issues. Had I not listened at all, I would have been fine. I can only hope that you’ll leave here with a new batch of things to be frustrated about. Here are some more pet peeves to add to the list.

8. Hug/Handshake Mixups – Closely akin to the high-five/fist pound mixup. You haven’t seen your friend for a while and because of that, you’re totally out of sync. The inevitable happens. You go in for the handshake (afterall, you’re not that great of friends) and he opens wide for the hug. Then, like clockwork, both of you switch, only to be in the very same predicament. There is no clean way out of this.

9. Bent book covers – I just bought a brand new book the other day. There’s just something I love about a fresh, mint condition book. My 1.5 year old thought the book would be more fun to play with than any of his 9.7 million toys. The cover is now bent completely in half. I would rather throw it away than continue reading it. It’s just so…bent. Ugh. How shallow am I?

10. Blue Toothers – This is an obvious choice. Nevermind the fact that you can’t ever tell if the blue-toother is talking to you or the person on the phone. We’ve all been peeved by that for years. What about the fact that he never takes it off…ever. It doesn’t matter if he’s at a funeral or swimming laps. Is there some sort of super-adhesive on those that I don’t know about? Are they like tattoos?

11. Tip Jar at Starbucks – Is this necessary? I just spent half a mortgage payment on this latte. Are you really asking me for more money?

12. Post Oil Change Conversation – You know this conversation is coming. You sit there and think about it while you’re waiting – rehearsing what you’re going to say, how this time you’re going to hold fast. But, as expected, the mechanic comes and sits down beside you. Holding your dirty air filter as his persuasive prop of choice, he locks eyes with you (with those trusting blue eyes), puts his dirty arm around you, and lists all of the car’s other dire needs. You cave, crumble up your “$18.99 Oil Change” coupon, pay him $96, and go on your merry way…again.

Roughly 1% of the readers of this blog make comments. More often than not, the comments are funnier/more entertaining than the post itself. So I ask 2 things of you, if you don’t already do them:

1. Start reading the comments
2. Start making comments

Everyone wants to hear what you have to say…especially me.

*I wonder if there is any way to make a funny comment on this post? Anyone up to the challenge?

The other day I saw a commercial advertising an upcoming reality series about the dramatic and exciting world of dog grooming. I was immediately saddened when I realized that there are people who are actually going to watch it…TiVo it even. What isn’t going right in their lives? This has caused me to think through what I believe are the 5 most ludicrous reality shows in existence. Here is what I’ve concluded:

1. Groomer Has It – This is the show mentioned above about people who cut dog hair. I heard this one barely beat out Shear Me Out, a romantic dramedy about sheep shearers caught in precarious situations, for Animal Planet’s last available slot.

2. Hell’s Kitchen – I’ve only seen the commercials for it, but that’s all it took to make this list. How could someone possibly get that mad about food preparation? The real Hell’s Kitchen would be a kitchen that has one of those little TVs that continually loops this show and never turns off.

3. Dancing with the Stars – What is less exciting than watching some ex-NFL player do the waltz or mamba? I’ll tell you. Watching some former child actor or 80′s celebrity do the waltz or mamba. They need real stars doing real dances. I want to see Matt Damon do the Roger Rabbit or Barack Obama 2-stepping or Dr. Phil doing the robot. If that happens, I’ll watch.

4. Whatever, Martha! – Can you imagine the network pitch for this show?

Network: Let me get this straight. You want to create a show where you just sit there on a couch, watch footage of your mother’s TV show, and make some snide remarks and sarcastic quips along the way? This is the entire concept?
Alexis: I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Network: This is a joke, isn’t it? Where is the hidden camera?
Alexis: No, I’m completely serious.
Network: How about this? If you pay us to do the show, we’ll do it.
Alexis: Deal!!

I want to pitch a show where I sit on a couch and make fun of this show and Martha’s show…and fit in some jokes about Groomer Has It along the way.

5. Every Reality Show on MTV or VH1 – I don’t think this one even needs commentary, but if you’re not convinced, go watch one episode of Rock of Love. It’s the classiest one on either network.

Which ones did I miss? What show needs to be on this list?