1. Acknowledge Greatness When You See It. Before you get mad at someone cutting you off in traffic, you need to pause and, at least for a second or two, try to appreciate what just happened. Chances are, if you had just pulled that exact same stunt, you’d not only justify it, but pat yourself on the back for pulling it off – I can’t believe I just fit my car in that tiny gap! They too, deserve to be applauded. This tiny attitude adjustment has lowered my blood pressure by at least 900 points.

2. Thumbs Up – Now, in the instance that the driver doesn’t deserve to be praised, don’t be like every other driver and show him what your middle finger looks like. There’s a good chance this guy has received 19 of those already today. What I would suggest is an exaggerated thumbs up. This form of sarcasm is more effective than a punch in the face. I don’t recommend this, but the thumbs up reaches its maximum potential if you can manage to get your entire torso out the window while doing it.

3. Hand Signals – If you’re a biker and you’re banking on me remembering the hand signals I learned when I was 15, there’s probably a collision in your future.

4. Tell the Truth – If you’ve been pulled over before, you know that the second you see those blue lights flashing you immediately start thinking of excuses as to why you were breaking the law. I’ve tried them all. They’re all mild exaggerations of the truth, and the officer has surely heard them all before. Diarrhea, huh? Original. Here’s your ticket. The only time I managed to successfully get out of a ticket, I was blatantly honest.

Officer: Why were you speeding?
Me: [Cycling through normal excuses; landing on nothing] I’ll tell you. I just got a brand new hot tub and it’s been a really long day and I’m speeding home to go get in it.
Officer: Wow. Thanks for being honest. Just slow down a bit.

Got any other bits of driving advice that could help us all out?

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