I didn’t think they had it in them. Shockingly, these companies have managed to stay in business and avoid almost certain failure. How?

Dippin’ Dots – What would a trip to the water park have been like without this $5 cup of ice cream BBs? I was so excited when I first found out that this was “the ice cream of the future.” The world, in my opinion, would become such a better place. I have religiously checked the frozen food aisle at the grocery store for the last 18 years, only to be punched in the face each time by its absence.
New Slogan: Dippin’ Dots. Hey, thanks for your patience.

Hotmail.com – My first email account was with Hotmail. My entire family shared it. Since then, other options have surfaced. Sticking with Hotmail is the equivalent of sticking with cumbersome point-and-shoot film cameras.
New Slogan: Hotmail. Even our employees have Gmail accounts.

Starter – The oversized Starter jacket might have been the single greatest garment in the 1990s. It was the dream of every middle school boy to wear one. Now Starter is the official sports apparel line of Wal-Mart. Talk about a fall from grace.
New Slogan: Starter. We’ll always have the jackets.

Any Laser Tag Establishment – Three minutes into any game of laser tag I’ve ever played, I am filled with regret. Do you not remember last time? How could you allow yourself to be back in this position? There’s always the one guy who brings his own gear and the owner who gets pissed that you don’t know the lingo and the gun that gets jammed (how do lasers even get jammed?).
New Slogan: Laser Tag. Prepare to be letdown.

Who else should have been out of business years ago? Any new slogans we should know about?