Last week I posted about Guilty Pleasures and Road Trips. Today I’m combining the two to highlight some of the more unique guilt trips that I’ve ever received.

The Dental Guilt Trip - Last time I went to the dentist, the hygienist offered shame-inducing color commentary the entire time she hovered over me. The hour was filled with exaggerated eye rolls, disapproving head shakes, and several Oh Dears (who says Oh Dear anymore?). It was as though I wasn’t even in the room. As we were wrapping up, she put the nail in the coffin by asking me if my wife was OK with my eventual tooth decay. I have since switched dentists.

The Dry-Cleaning Guilt Trip – This interaction actually happened last Saturday (I promise).

Layla, the Dry Cleaner: Where have you been?
Me: Sorry, I couldn’t make it by yesterday.
Layla: Did you not get my calls?
Me: No, I did. I was just really busy.
Layla: You said that even if I die, you need to get these shirts ASAP.
Me: What? I never said that. Why would I talk about you dying?
Layla: Just take your shirts, Mr. Hotshot.

The Automotive Guilt Trip – I’ve mentioned this before, but every time I get my oil changed, the mechanic gives me a I-can’t-believe-you’d-treat-your-car-like-this death stare when I decline certain services he’s suggested. Bro, just change my freaking oil.

The Waiter Guilt Trip – This happens almost every time I eat at a sit-down restaurant.

Waiter: Would you guys like some dessert?
Me: No thanks.
Waiter: Are you sure you don’t want to try our new Fudge Volcano Earthquake Blast?
Me: Yeah, pretty sure. We’ll just take the check.
Waiter: Come on Alice. Why don’t you man up and get a dessert?
Me: I’m sorry, is this really happening right now? You know I haven’t left the tip yet, right?
Waiter: I’m just saying, you’re the one who has to live with yourself. What do you say?
Me: I’m speechless.

Am I the only one? Have you received any unique guilt trips?