Above Ground Pools – I can’t imagine the thought process that leads up to this purchase. Man, I am tired of this sightly backyard. I need something that will communicate my impulsiveness to my neighbors and make me more easily stereotyped. Not only that, but I am sick of living without regret. I know! I’ll get one of them ‘bove ground pools!

“Please Take One” Signs on Halloween – Landing one of these before the other neighborhood kids is the childhood equivalent of winning the lottery. I can still remember the feeling of excitement when my pillowcase instantly gained 3lbs. I was always able to justify it by saying that I thought they meant take one basket.

Theological Debates – There’s nothing that will solidify the current stance of each side more than a good ol’ theological debate. You think the other person is listening to your point when you’re speaking? That’s silly. They’re just judging you.

Mustaches – I’ve held a firm belief for most of my life that it’s never OK to have a mustache before you’re 30. However, the closer I get to 30, the more I think that number needs to be modified. Is there a worse intentional decision a man can make about his appearance? This surpasses sweatpants in public.

Jelly Belly – What a letdown. They’re just too much work. If I want pure flavor, I have to eat just one (which is about as satisfactory as eating a crumb). If I want a handful, the outcome is worse than chewing on trash (sour apple, piña colada, coffee, popcorn, and tangerine are not meant to be together). If I want cherry, I get cinnamon. And if I want tutti fruitti, some jerk already picked them all out.

What are some other bad ideas? Oh, and check out the iBible video below if you haven’t seen it already.