Is it possible to call in sick for an entire week? Are bosses cool with that kind of thing? If so, do it. You’re going to need the recovery time. Yesterday marked the start of the greatest week of television in modern history. Have the season-finale stars ever aligned like this?

Yesterday – The Celebrity Apprentice Finale
As I watched Joan Rivers shedding actual tears during her win, all I could think was “Man, they sure have come a long way with robots.”

Tonight – House Finale
I feel like a blasphemer for saying this, but I get more excited about this show on Mondays than I do for 24. Sorry Jack. We had a good run though, didn’t we?

Tuesday – The Biggest Loser Finale
Guaranteed tear fest. I’m actually planning my entire Tuesday around this event – even what I’m going to wear.

Wednesday – Lost Finale
I’ve seen every episode, I still have no idea what is happening, and I love it.

Thursday – The Office Finale AND 30 Rock Finale
Will there be sufficient Nard Dog? My future Office viewing career hangs in the balance.

Friday – Prison Break Series Finale
I might be the only person in America that is still watching this show. It’s the series finale though. Not watching would be like quitting on the 25th mile of a marathon…a completely implausible, overly-predictable marathon.

Wow. I think I’m going to go see the new Star Trek movie this afternoon to get warmed up for all that sitting.

Oh, and a big thanks goes out to the TV execs for scheduling this right after Mother’s Day. I think it’s really going to help my wife forget about the Slap Chop I got her.