NOTE: Have you read the post before this yet? I need some help. Scroll down or click here if you have a second.

There’s nothing quite like making a fool of yourself on national television. I try to avoid it if at all possible. There was this week back in January, though, where Amy and I let our guard down and attempted to remodel our bathroom all by ourselves…with cameras documenting our every mistake.

The show is called Renovation Realities. Unlike those other home improvement shows that provide professional carpenters, plumbers, designers, etc, all this show provides is a camera. You have to do all the work yourself (or, in my case, with the help of some friends after hitting rock bottom on Day 3).

Our show already aired on the DIY Network, but tonight it makes its debut on HGTV at 10:30pm.

Here is a preview of the show (if you look closely at the 20 second mark, you’ll see me hitting my thumb with a hammer…awesome).

I may get some new readers on Friday. I get to do a guest post for Stuff Christians Like, which, in my opinion, is one of the best blogs in existence. I want to show these newcomers the best that I’ve got, so I’m going to make a “Best Of” page.

This is where I need your help. If you come here on a regular basis, can you tell me your 3 favorite posts that I’ve ever done? Just put them in the Comments section.

I know, I know. This seems like a ploy to feed my inflated ego. I promise it’s not. I just don’t always trust my own opinion. Heck, you can throw your three least favorite posts in there too if you want to balance it out (Humblers, now’s your chance).

Thanks for your help! Oh, and if you think of a better name for it than “Best Of”, please feel free to share.

After last week’s post about my (admittedly hardcore) television schedule, many have pointed out that I might have a problem. As a matter of fact, I think I overheard my friend scheduling an intervention for next Thursday. You see, I don’t think of myself as a TV addict. No, I like to think of myself as a committed television enthusiast, with mildly addictive tendencies.

I thought it would be helpful for everyone if I formed a comprehensive guide to help decipher whether or not one has a TV addiction. Answering Yes to any of these means we need to get you into a 12-step program immediately. Oh, and clicking on these links would be in your best interest.
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1. As a kid, was the most exciting part of your summer vacation the ability to watch The Price is Right?

2. Would you literally give anything for a TV in the bathroom?

3. When you’re having a heart-to-heart with your child, do you require your spouse to play Full House-esque music softly in the background?

4. Could you sing the entire Mr. Belvedere opening song* right now?

5. Do you judge people who judge people for watching too much TV?

6. When you ask people about their favorite shows, are you secretly looking for an enabler?

7. Do you wish, not that there were more hours in a day, but that there were more hours of Law & Order: SVU in a day?

8. Did you petition to name your first child Dwayne Wayne?

9. When your wife objected, did you suggest Doogie, saying that would significantly increase his chances of becoming a child prodigy?

10. Has your favorite song ever been a commercial jingle?

11. Have you ever referred to watching 24** as “getting a fix”?

12. Have you ever planned a family vacation around your favorite shows?

13. Do you still recognize and celebrate TGIF?

14. Did you cry when you found out your grandparents didn’t have TV growing up?

15. Have you ever carefully crafted a presentation to give your wife on why you need a 47-inch flat screen?

16. Do you take someone’s cable package into consideration before starting a friendship?

17. Have you ever referred to Comcast as your “dealer”?

18. Are you concerned that your kid’s homework is going to interfere with his TV schedule?

Dangit. It appears I have a problem. Any other questions that need to be on there?
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*Just found out the lyrics are “Streaks on the china, never mattered before, who cares” and not “Straight from-a China, never met him before, who cares.”

**Last night was one of the most frustrating finales I’ve ever seen.

All guys, to some extent, are on a quest to become more manly. That quest accelerated for me when I got married, and even more when I had kids. With any quest, though, there will be setbacks. Here are a few of mine, which are meant to get the conversation started and to let you know that you’re not alone.

I did a cross-arm shirt take-off.
As I was getting ready to jump in the shower, the unthinkable happened. Instead of grabbing my shirt mid-back and pulling it over my head (like guys are supposed to do), I crossed my arms, grabbed the shirt tail with both hands, and pulled up. Unfortunately, I saw the whole thing happen in the mirror. I promise you, it will never happen again. It looked so…seductive.

I use a loofa.
You won’t find a better head-to-toe lather out there (I’ll take that to the grave with me). I just got tired of my washcloths losing suds mid-torso and even more tired of getting soap under my fingernails as I tried (unsuccessfully) to get that random hair off my bar of Irish Spring. I honestly don’t think I washed below the knee in my early twenties. It just wasn’t possible.

I referred to something as cute.
I swore I’d never do it, but something happens when you have kids. Seeing your infant sporting a pair of sunglasses or your two-year-old popping his collar will force it out of you. I really don’t want to say it again, but let’s be honest…it will probably happen within the hour.

I accidentally laid out.
I didn’t mean to. I went down to the beach to read my new Nicholas Sparks book, just like any other dude. When I got tired of reading, though, I failed to do what I should have done: throw the football, take a man-walk, or body surf. No, I simply reclined my chair, closed my eyes, and soaked in the rays. To make matters worse, I turned over after 20 minutes or so…you know, just to make sure I got an even tan.

I once called something “too barbaric.”
Wanting to fit in, I went over to a friend’s house to watch some ultimate fighting. Sounds great, I thought. I’ll get to see a great boxing match…the ultimate boxing match! Ten seconds in, I realized my assumptions were a tad off. I was watching two bare-fisted men in a cage trying to erase each others’ memory with heel kicks to the temple. I think one guy head-butted another guy’s shin in half. I couldn’t watch it, so I did what anyone in my situation would have done – I faked diarrhea and stayed in the bathroom all night.

What about you? Anything you need to come clean about?

1. Favorite new ad campaign – What should AirTran put on every flight?

2. Favorite comments – All of the comments on my Movie Commandments post

3. Favorite video – Awkward Questions about Jesus

4. Favorite TV finale – 30 Rock (barely edging out Lost and SNL)

5. Favorite new (to me) blog – Bryan Allain (you should start reading it)

6. Favorite teaser for an upcoming show – Community