Saturday night was my 10 year high school reunion. I thought it might help some of you out if I compiled a list of tips based on the evening’s experiences.

1. Study up on Facebook
This can be a great tool to remember names and faces, but be sure to use it wisely. It might appear a tad stalkerish if you start a conversation out with a reference to the “Which Lord of the Rings Character Are You?” quiz that they took last February. There’s really nowhere for the conversation to go after this.

2. Save up
We had to take out a second mortgage in order to cover our admission cost. I’m still working on the math, but I think it came out to about $35 per drink and $60 per miniature barbecue sandwich.

3. Use spouse wisely
If your planners weren’t wise enough to provide name tags, use your spouse to find out the names you should already know. Amy and I have the system down to perfection:

Me: [Double-tap the back of Amy's elbow to initiate fool-proof system]
Amy: Hi, I’m Amy.
Guy: Hi, I’m Neil.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry Neil. That was so rude of me. I thought you, Neil, and Amy had already met. How are things in Neil’s world…Neil?

4. Have phone handy
Any time an awkward silence arises, whip out your phone and pretend you have a call. Politely whisper that this is your “new babysitter” as you roll your eyes and apologetically leave the conversation.

5. Don’t talk about old times
Never use the word “remember” to start a sentence. The last thing you want is to be dubbed The Nostalgic Guy who keeps bringing up that time you did a group project together sophomore year.

6. Do talk about old times
OK, when Doug gets into his 19th consecutive minute of talking about politics, feel free to interject with your favorite thing about that group project sophomore year – even if he wasn’t part of the group.

7. Come with a comfort zone
Believe it or not, the same cliques exist ten years later. Make sure to bring your clique with you as a comfort zone. Establish a home base early on (near the back), and periodically branch off into the sea of awkwardness, knowing that there is a mother ship that awaits your return.

8. Chew gum
Guess who people want to talk to less than Nostalgic Guy? You guessed it – Halitosis Guy. Don’t hesitate to display some gum pride and share the love.

9. Engage in some friendly competition
Hold a competition amongst your clique members to see how many different professions you can claim to have throughout the evening. It’s amazing how trusting people are. Apparently I can pass for a librarian, a professional scuba diver, a dentist, and a nun. I’m even scheduled to do a home inspection next Thursday.

10. Know when to stay home
100% of all conversations begin the same way – “What are you up to these days?” If you’re nearing thirty and you still don’t have a job, it might be best to stay home and play Madden ‘09. After all, you know you’d rather be doing that anyway.

Any other tips to add to the list?
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