Twitter Humor
June 30th, 2009 - Uncategorized - 11 Comments »Tripp Crosby, Jon Acuff, Bryan Allain and I are on a four-man quest to change how the world looks at Twitter. Each of us will be using our blogs today to show you that there’s more to Twitter than just telling people you’re eating a roast beef sandwich or that your cat finally woke up.
The four of us shamelessly attempt to squeeze as much humor out of 140 characters as we can. Here are some of my attempts (@tylerstanton):
1. I would like to nominate Best Buy as world’s most absurd receipt length. Do they want me to make a sash out of it?
2. Just heard a place described as “a Chinese Ryan’s”. I threw up in my mouth at the very thought.
3. Whenever I start a sentence “I don’t mean to brag, but…”, my sole intent is to brag.
4. I’ve never actually heard someone say “hubba hubba” to a woman in real life.
5. Our new phone books just arrived. I’ve never been less excited about anything.
6. No offense, but I’d rather read my toaster’s instruction manual than your Facebook quiz results. You have now been hidden.
7. Just caught a fish that was smaller than my bait. I might keep it and use it as a toothpick.
8. You can pretty much wash your entire car with those windshield squeegies at the gas station. And it’s free.
9. Can I sell my yard at a yard sale? I’m ready to part with it.
10. If we’re not friends, and you correct me a lot, we’ll probably stay that way
11. I just received my first truly accidental Wet Willy. It was my fault… I turned into it.
12. You think DJ Jazzy Jeff gets pissed every time Will Smith does something awesome?
13. Is there a poor Geoff?
Who do you follow that makes you laugh? Do you make yourself laugh (which is perfectly OK)? If so, give us some of your gems in the comments section. And last but not least, if you’re on Twitter*, stop what you’re doing and go follow these guys: @trippcrosby, @prodigaljohn, and @bryanallain.
*If you’re not on Twitter, please take 1.5 minutes and read this post that Tripp wrote last week. Then go sign up.
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Besides you and Tripp, I think I'm Hilarious.
so, we won't know when you're eating roast beef?
So awesome! Great start to my day.
I'll be honest…Most of your one-liners make me laugh more than your blog posts. They are incredible.
I have to agree with Bryan! I love your tweets. I follow Tripp and Jon. I'll check out Bryan Allen. Enjoy your posts when I can get to them. Other people who I have followed for humor were either too corny or got vulgar. @weirdralph is OK. And he's not as active as you, Tripp & John.
Tripp likens the inevitability of Twitter growth to that of the phone.
THE PHONE TYLER. THE F-ING TELEPHONE.
If you two don't cut the Twitter evangelism, I'm going to take my old golden nokia brick and throw it throw your windshields. First yours, then his.
BTW – I owe you my life for introducing me to Simon Rich. The book is near mint.
[...] more Twitter highlights at from Tyler Stanton, Bryan Allain, and Jon Acuff. But don’t subscribe to their twitter accounts, becuase we are [...]
I already follow all of you guys and you CRACK ME UP! I think you help make Twitter what it is supposed to be. You make following you fun. I'm pulling for you.
(then again, I just copied and pasted the same comment on Tripp, Tyler & Jon's blog too so don't let my endorsement go to your head)
And if you didn't already believe me, I actually forgot to take out your name when I copied and pasted…
Make that a five-man quest…I just hate the stupid life updates people post. 140 characters pushes you to be creative and punchy, here are a few of my attempts:
-The terms 'infallible' and 'idiotproof' are interchangeable depending on whether you are talking to the ‘idiot’ or to someone else
-Judge Sotomayor's 'job interview'/grilling must rank up there with babysitter for a drug lord's kids or food taster for Kim Yong-il
-If you are a snail,the world around you is like a never ending action film,while your last screening flashes by as a blurry footstep
If interested, following is free this week: http://twitter.com/carlosdavila
cheers and thanks for the leads
H1N1 fears put colleges on alert. Students urged to use their own funnels and wipe the nozzle after each keg stand.