Pet Peeves VII
August 5th, 2009 - A Million Peeves - 14 Comments »“Awk…ward”
When you’re in the middle of an awkward situation and you say that (you know, the high-pitched, brow-raised “awk….ward”), you’ve successfully made the situation 35x worse. Let’s just let the awkward silence play out – it’s better that way.
Touching My Screen
We’ve all been around the guy who really wants to show us something on the computer. Instead of simply pointing to the link he wants me to click, he stabs my screen with his index finger with a force that could pierce skin. It’s not really the smudges that get me – it’s the permanent rainbow-colored bruise on the center of my screen that will last until the end of time.
Buying Printer Ink
I would rather my computer literally spit in my face than have it warn me that my printer ink is running low. It’s the second worst warning that it can give me behind “An unexpected error occurred and your hard drive has exploded internally and is melting onto the motherboard as we speak (-1014).” There really is no feeling like spending $29.97 on an ink cartridge that will barely last last long enough to print a 13-page document.
Finishing Sentences Incorrectly
Dear sentence finisher, please know me well if you’re going to take on the task of finishing my sentences for me. You’re great and all, but we’ve had one too many of these conversations:
Me: So there I was, right in the middle of this–
Sentence Finisher: Hotel room?
Me: [Pause] No… Walgreens. So I’m in Walgreens, and I run into–
SF: The animal cracker display? And they all crashed to the ground and went everywhere?
Me: No. [Gathering myself]. No, I ran into Darren from my old neighborhood. Anyw–
SF: Anyway…
Me: Nevermind.
SF: What?
Announcing Sadness
I don’t feel like I should have to be the one to tell you this, but there are a variety of wonderful ways to express sadness. It seems though, that in recent years, exclaiming “Awww… sad” has surpassed crying, frowning, and lip-quivering as the standard form of communicating sorrow. I don’t know how we end it, but I’m determined to find out.
What’s bothering you?
___
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i totally hate the screen touch. Friend or not, you touch my screen and you will receive a hand slap.
the ink one is pretty bad – you know you try to stretch out to the last drop of the cartridge you have too – only to find out that whoever used the printer before you just printed their entire summer vacation of pictures.
rollerball mouses. can we not all agree on a strict infra-red or touchpad policy? haven't we moved past using simple machines in our computers?
with you on the hatred of screen touching and printer ink.
and alongside the sentence finisher, i can't take the guy who agrees/affirms your point before you even make it. i work with one such doof and it drives me batty…
Him: Any updates on that piping project?
Me: Yeah, actually the new documents were supposed to be in on…
Him: oh ok.
Me…ummm…were supposed to be in today but i havent received them yet…
Him: ok, great!
Me: …no, well, i dont have them but John emailed me and said he'd have them to me soon…
Him: awesome thanks!
Me…but that there were no changes at all and the project has been halted because their building exploded. But you walked away 10 seconds ago and missed all that. great talking to you.
Along with the sentence finisher, my other pet peeve is the person who tries to anticipate what I'm saying and then tries to say it WITH me…at the same time as me. I have several people in my life who do this to me, and I find myself talking faster around them so they can't keep up with me.
Our pet peeves have totally synced up in this issue. The biggest bummer is that my wife is an incorrect sentence finisher. Awww… sad.
One time my great aunt was poking my computer screen with a pencil. She is old and didn't understand so I just sat there and cried on the inside.
I'm a sentence finisher but I only do it when the one I am talking to can't think of the word.
Them: I took my dog to the uh, ummmmm . . . .
Me: Vet?
Them: Yeah, the vet.
I've noticed this happens to people who are texting friends while carrying on a conversation with me . . . Pet Peeve.
It peeves me when people use phrases incorrectly.
Examples:
1) "I didn't finish my work today….Granite, I was 2 hours late."
Yes, I know someone who uses "granite" instead of "granted".
2) "It never seizes to amaze me…"
Do you mean "cease"? Or are you trying to tell me that the "it" in your sentence has seizures?
I also hate when someone responds to my status updates on Facebook with a "joke" that I don't understand. I have a friend who always makes comments that are meant to be "funny"…but I never get it, so I either ignore the comment or just reply, "lol"….and hope to God they don't say, "haha–did you get my joke?"
What's really bad is when somebody stabs your computer screen then, after seeing the gigantic rainbow bruise they caused, slowly looks at you and goes, "Awk…ward…"
Ink for sure.
Maybe it's just me….but children calling adults by their title and their first name. Preschool teachers are the main offenders. What is up with that? Do we think that children are incapable of saying last names? Seriously. I don't care if children call me Ms. Nash (although I insist my students do, of course) or Sarah….but what is the point of calling me Ms. Sarah?!?!
People who post their exercise routines on Twitter or Facebook to make the rest of us feel bad. "Four miles today–fastest time ever!" or "Icing my knees after a 12-miler…it hurts so good!"
Ok, you're fit, I get it. Now pass me the cheeseburger please while I continue to sit on the couch.
I don't do well with Sentence Finishers/ Alongside Talkers either- they make me feel like I'm taking too much time talking to them and feel the need to speed it up. (Which, honestly, is probably the case, but I digress.)
A BIGGER peeve of mine is when you are in a conversation with someone and they check their blackberry/ iphone/ electronic device of choice to see if anyone new has twittered in the past 5 minutes. At some point in the next 20-30 minutes of the time we spend together, I promise I will exit to the bathroom to give you the opportunity to read up on people's fitness stats, breakfast choices, and occasional hilarious joke. The REAL funny stuff will take too long to access from your phone anyway, so you'll have to wait to get home to read Tyler's blog entry or watch that video of someone falling on their head during a ski accident. Don't look so eager.