Irrational Communication: Concern
August 17th, 2009 - Uncategorized - 6 Comments »I’ve noticed that there are many unconventional and illogical ways that we communicate certain emotions. Here are some ridiculous, yet common, ways I’ve seen concern expressed in the past couple weeks:
Eye-Closed Head Nod
This seems to be the go-to for anyone on the receiving end of a troubling conversation. I honestly don’t know whether you’re responding to me or silently jamming to Boom Boom Pow.*
Arm Grab
If the blind nods aren’t cutting it, reach out and clutch their forearm. Apparently, there’s a pressure point in there that, if you squeeze just right, will make all the world’s problems go away.
Hmm
I don’t know how to say this tactfully, but I’m OK with silence between my sentences. I know your “hmm’s” are just an attempt to be both affirming and engaging, but I get the feeling you’re trying to subtly imply that I should speak louder. I’m pouring my heart out, for crying out loud. Let me choose the volume.
Whisper
The opposite side of the Hmm coin is the concerned whisper. I know you feel like speaking at a normal volume would have a disconcerting edge to it, but the last thing I want to do in my moment of vulnerability is strain to hear your voice. Again, let me choose the volume.
Bless Your Heart
The last time this phrase had any impact whatsoever was in 1953. I vote we treat it like an old penny and take it out of circulation.
*If I ask you what you think, and you tell me that I’m “so two-thousand-and-late”, you’ve successfully confirmed my suspicions. There isn’t much hope of recovery at this point.
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Guilty. "Hmm" is my go-to response many times, but if the speaker is talking about something difficult they have gone through, then I often say, "Oh, man" when there is a moment of silence.
My favorite one is "Man, that stinks." Yep, it sure does! Thanks buddy!
I like the example of Job's friends…just sit there in silence and be with the person in grief. We as believers hate the idea of silence, but it is powerful.
I heard a speaker once say that "Bless Your Heart" is translation for "You're an idiot!" (He said consider the context we always use it in – "Timmy fell out of a tree and broke his arm – bless his heart!" or "Bob went bankrupt, bless his heart!") (c:
"Bless her heart." is Christian-ease for "I'm about to say something mean about this chick." You knew that, right?
"bless her/his/your heart" is how southern women get away with saying anything they want! Actually, as a southern woman, I believe I could combine everything you listed into one action, Close my eyes, nod my head…reach for the arm and in a whisper say, "Hmm, well bless your heart!"
you made me smile! thanks!
[...] Dow Jones Industrial Average Telling me the Dow just dropped another 100 points has the same affect on me as telling me my winter coat just improved by fifteen muggle-duggs. I’m not even close to understanding you, but I’ll still manage to muster up some level of concern. [...]