I Already Know a Lot About You…
August 25th, 2009 - I Already Know a Lot About You - 38 Comments »If you're new here, click here to subscribe. And click here for The Essentials.
…if you have a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on your arm
…if you excessively decorate your front yard for all major holidays
…if you order half Diet Coke/half regular Coke
…if your method of carrying your phone is the hip-clip
…if you frame pictures of your pets
…if your favorite movie stars the Wayans Brothers
…if you wear sunglasses indoors
…if you forward me emails with an animated American flag
…if you use MySpace
…if your biceps are bigger than your thighs
…if you wear your bluetooth device outside your car
…if you wear black t-shirts with witty phrases on the front
…if you’re still using AOL
…if you ever tell me how many points you scored in a game
…if you’re still impersonating Ace Ventura
Your turn. What else tells you a lot about a person?
___
Subscribe to tylerstanton.com
…if you still quote Forrest Gump
…if instead of swerving to miss a squirrel, you swerve to hit it
If you rarely return phone calls. (sorry, inside joke.)
Good one, evdaddy!
… if you eat tofu.
… if you have multiple bumper stickers on your car.
…If you wear your pants below the belt.
…If you take your kids to Rated R movies
…If you talk loud so people can notice you
…If you begin every sentence with Dude
. . .if you've ever purchased jewelry for your belly button
. . .if, as a couple, you wear matching tshirts to a concert. Or anywhere, for that matter.
…if you play Counter-Strike.
…if you're a man who wears girls' jeans.
…if you will do facebook quizzes such as " how good are you at makingout??" " How Retarded are You?", : How Sexy is your Zodiac Sign?", " What color crayon are you?" or " What Plastic Army Man Are You?"
(all of the above are just a small part of the huge selection of quizzes done by my friends and then blocked by me. Some of the more ridiculous were too inappropriate to repeat here)
,
…if your favorite movie is Roadhouse
…if you own a "Gryffindor #1" tshirt
…if you have ever watched all 3 Lord of the Rings movies in a row
…if you wear a mask to mow the lawn
…if you ever owned a Game Genie
…if your favorite teams are the Yankees and the Cowboys
…if you ignore the double yellow line
…if you add those flavor packets to your water
…if you wear anything with Looney Tunes or Winnie the Pooh characters on it.
…if your Walmart cart is so full of soft drinks that I mistake you for a stocker.
……. if you wear pajamas to the grocery store.
……. if your son's nickname is Bubba.
…….. if your infant's ears are pierced.
…….. if your belt is braided leather.
…if you're going to play laser tag this weekend
…if you're not laughing at my hilarious joke
…if the language you took in college was Chinese
…if your favorite Ninja Turtle was Donatello
…if you have a favorite Ninja Turtle and willingly let people know
…if you named your daughter Rain
…if your profile picture is you flexing shirtless in the bathroom mirror.
…if you lift weights at the gym in a sleeveless t-shirt and a beanie.
…if you ride a motorcycle with 3 wheels…with a trailer…and mic on your helmet with a nerf ball on the end of it.
…if you still eat at Shoney's Breakfast Bar.
…if you still defend the fanny pack as a device of utility when traveling overseas.
…if you drive a PT Cruiser.
…if you compare your PT Cruiser to a Porsche.
…if you insist on saying Porsch-a.
…If you abbreviate things no one else abbreviates. ie, "It's just passed BR on 85 north. (pause). You know, dude. (pause). Beaver Ruin."
…if you find yourself at Home Depot on a nice little Saturday, after going to Bed, Bath & Beyond.
…If your seen out of the yard, boat or bed wearing any 10-year old greek shirts.
…if you still refer to Darius Rucker as Hootie.
…if you reference Hootie and the Blowfish at all on Tyler's blog.
…if you order a california roll at any sushi joint.
…if you use the word "joint" to describe an establishment.
…if you make the connection that this could be the new "you might be a redneck if" phenomena (Tyler should pursuing copyright as we speak)
…if "izzle" trails any word you use – ever.
…if great ideas spew from your mouth ad nauseum but you never do anything with them.
…if you guess at how to spell ad nauseum.
…if I've read your biography.
…if you wear jean shorts.
…if you tuck your t-shirt in.
…if you tuck anything in without a belt.
…if you pumped gas before me and the pump says $00.83
…if you buy GT ones with change.
…if you have a vanity plate.
…if you constantly quote sports talk radio.
Those are amazing. So good to hear from you mark.
Is this not just Don't Be That Guy in a different form?
….if you are "Same- Siders" at restaurants with your loved one.
[...] Yesterday’s comments were my favorite ever on this [...]
…if you refer to salad as "the food that MY food eats"
…if you feel the need to "casually mention" to everyone you run into that you were at Starbucks earlier in the day
…if you use your facebook status to "discretely" brag about your sheer awesomeness: famous friends, expensive purchase, etc.
…if the storage place of choice for your Ray-bans is on a band around your neck
…if your "go to" pose in any picture is the "kissy face" or "charlie's angels"
if you ask your dog obvious questions in a super high pitched voice. i.e. -do you wanna go outside? do you wanna treat? etc…
if you refer to your favorite sports team as "we" (we won the superbowl) oh I didn't know you played for the Steelers.
if you refer to your Pastor as Pastor, when he is your dad. (my older brother)
…if you use air quotes
…if your facebook status is telling your 1 yr old happy birthday and the joys of being in labor for 10 hrs
…if you call Target, "tarjay"
…if you're still using Word Art or Comic Sans font
. . . if your 4-year-old boy has pierced ears
…if your last nine twitter updates were time stamped from while you were at work
…if those updates came in the last five minutes
… if you spend 10 minutes tailgating me with all but two fingers on the steering wheel
…because I'm your mail man and I've read your postcards
…if you do wheelies on your motorcycle
…if you refer to nickleback as a heavy metal band
…if you feel the need to ever end a sentence with “le sigh”
…if you have lights to display your american flag at night
…if you have a pet rat
…if you don’t order food at a restaurant because you know people will have leftovers
…if your favorite color is tan
…if you refer to any celebrity on a first name basis
…if you have a facebook page for one of your animals
…if, instead of laughing, you actually say, "Lol"
…if you still collect Pokemon cards.
…if you think wearing a cowboy hat in your sports car will help pick up girls.
…if you live anywhere east of Tennessee and have a Southern Rebel flag on your vehicle.
…if you refer to the Pope as the Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars
…if you're still concerned about John & Kate at all.
…if you your IM chat response to my comment is "kewl"
…if you are quickly approaching 30 and reference your IM conversations
…if you brag about your Golden Tee accomplishments
…if your muffler is bigger than my face but sounds like a golf cart
…if you like Nickleback
…if you celebrate your birthday for a week with a tiara on the entire time
[...] 3. Favorite Comments – These [...]
… if a Thomas Kincade painting hangs in your study
Was your profile picture taken indoors or out?
… if we're related
…if you talk to your cat as if it was a little kid.
…if you don't say a word in the car, at the dinner table, or when anyone is around you.
…if you are constantly finding something to joke about in whatever is said.
thanks for this excellent discussion and narrative of this question. You’ve turned it out better than any topic I’ve seen. Also thanks for citing my work on it. Your’s takes it better.
Many thanks for this awesome article. I’ve read id for some months now and they are always very informative. Thanks!