I was on a Young Life staff retreat for the last 36 hours at a camp up in Jasper, Georgia. It was a great 36 hours, but even the best retreats have their share of misfortunes.

37. Sleeping on the top bunk when you’re 28
When I was ten, I would tell you, without hesitation, that sleeping on the top bunk was the best part about my life. I was the king of the room, with my little peasant brother sleeping on the ground level with all the other peasants. Now, though, all I can think about is how to get down without tearing my ACL or shattering my heel.

38. Using another guy’s towel
There isn’t much worse than waking up, walking barefoot across the slimy bathroom floor, and then realizing you forgot to pack a towel. Oh wait, yes there is. It’s when you sneak back in the room and snatch someone else’s towel and spend thirty minutes patting yourself dry because you aren’t sure which part he used to dry off his middle third.

39. Instant coffee
Hey retreat centers, I think I speak for all of us when I say it’s time to pony up a few more dollars a month for some real coffee – doesn’t have to be Starbucks, but shouldn’t be Discount Neil’s Big Bag-o-Syrup either. The least you could do is leave some coffee beans out for me to suck on throughout the day.

40. Retreating from technology
I understand the sentiment, I really do. But what you might not understand is that, for me, “getting away” always involves wireless access and a couple episodes of Arrested Development. What’s that? You want to go hiking and then sit in the dewy grass for a while? I would, but that building over there has air conditioning and chairs.

You’ve been on retreats. What bothers you?
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