39

I Already Know a Lot About You…

October 28th, 2009 - I Already Know a Lot About You - 39 Comments »

(I warned you that this might become a series.)

…if you refer to coffee as java.

…if you acknowledge what I say with “I know, right?”

…if there’s a toothpick in your mouth right now.

…if you’re an online or iPhone gamer.

…if you express your political viewpoints via bumper stickers.

…if you ever order “the usual”.

…if you drive a Hummer.

…if you can’t wait for Jimmy Buffet.

…if your tip ever includes pennies.

…if you liked Twilight.

…if you didn’t shed a tear during The Biggest Loser last night.

…if you refer to dollars as “bones”.

…if you quote Quagmire more than twice a week.

…if your wife mows the lawn.

…if you give people massages without them asking.

…if you wear an athletic jersey while not participating in athletics.

What are some others? By the way, your comments on these posts are my favorite.

*At least three of the above are true about me. Guess which ones they are.
___

  • http://kbakhtiari.blogspot.com Kurush

    if you wrap gum around your finger and put it back into your mouth.
    if you ask to borrow someone else's deodorant because you "forgot"
    if you think Mel Gibson's a saint

  • Lacey

    you take pictures of yourself in the mirror
    · you have a fake tan in October (unless you are a contestant on Dancing With the Stars…then that's just good sense.)
    · you go to a concert wearing a shirt from that same musician's previous concert
    · you like Creed or Nickelback
    · you have more than one cat
    · you wear your sunglasses on the back of your neck
    · you do not know the difference between "their," "there," and "they're"
    · your status on Facebook says "text me"
    · you wear a Guy Harvey shirt every day
    · you say you like sushi, but only order the California roll
    · you leave the bathroom without washing your hands…I see you! That’s gross!
    · your relationship status on Facebook says "it's complicated"
    · your truck is on wheels so large that I need to use a step latter to ride with you
    · you say “that’s what she said” more than once in a conversation
    · your kids aren’t allowed to read Harry Potter, Twilight, or anything dealing with “witchcraft,” yet you’ll let them see a PG-13 or R-rated movie
    · at a football game, you yell “come on!” at the fans around you when they refuse to join in on the cheer you’ve started
    · you say you like to go to Hooters for "the wings"

    • nate

      i never wash my hands. its overrated. i shower daily and i don't pee on myself. frankly, i don't see the point.

      and i baby sat your children. joke's on you.

      • http://www.ponderingparenting.blogspot.com The Real Lacey

        Actually, I think the joke is on YOU
        because i am not the "Lacey" who wrote that entry.
        Or maybe
        that makes the joke
        on
        me.

        Uh-oh.

        Who is this impostor Lacey??

  • nate

    you wear soccer jerseys and i'm not even sure that you've played the sport.

    your wife has most definitely mowed your lawn (the difference in laziness in your marraige demands that she's done your chores more than once)

    because you call it "starbones," it is not too far a jump to assume you've also referred to cash as bones.

    what do i win?

  • Jonaldthejesus

    if you make a comment on a blog about spelling errors then misspell ladder.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/bryanallain bryanallain

    the 3 that are true about you…

    your wife cuts the grass, you liked Twilight, and you had a toothpick in your mouth.

  • patty

    you're a guy and you wear sunglasses indoors like a headband

    you're late to everything and your excuse is that you're 'crazy busy' as if your busy-ness is more busy than everyone else's busy-ness

    • http://830eyes.wordpress.com Katie

      or possibly, If you use 'crazy' as an adverb at all.

  • http://ferrero51.wordpress.com Alex

    …if you turn into the Incredible Hulk at the mention of Obama.

    …if your wife LIKES to mow the lawn.

    …if you always touch me when I walk into the room.

    the 3 that are true about you…
    you drive your Hummer with your political bumper stickers to the Jimmy Buffet show.

  • http://intheliminality.tumblr.com/ Jeremy

    These are freaking hilarious.

    I know a lot about you…
    - if you wear camouflage, all the time, even to funerals and church
    - your motorcycle passes by my house, which is a mile away, yet you drown out all the noises in our neighborhood with your muffler for a solid minute
    - if when I ask you how you're doing your answer is a muffled, "it's another day" or "it's almost Friday"
    - if you own an iPhone and a Mac
    - if you are bald, with a goatee, and thick-framed glasses
    - if you "really like vampires"

    Eh, I have to go to a meeting, but I'm going to keep thinking of these and checking back. Good post Tyler!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/evdaddy evdaddy

      - if you are bald, with a goatee, and thick-framed glasses

      ouch, that's me!

  • http://www.littlebigvoice.wordpress.com Michael

    …if your car & boat cost more than your house.
    …if you wear FUBU And Sean Jean.
    …if you tell stories about your cats.

  • Joel

    please say you didnt like twilight…. And what is the deal with biggest loser? Is it always so sad?! That combined with the previews for the new Michael Ohre movie put me way over the edge.

    Other than that. If i hear you talking in class about the amount/type of drinks you had/are going to have downtown.

  • http://www.adaupdates.blogspot.com Scott

    if your shoes strap rather than tie
    if you wear tube socks
    if you wear Adidas Sambas, everyday
    if you leave the bathroom door open
    if you go to Wal-Mart just to take pictures for peopleofwalmart.com
    if you yell Free Bird at Concerts
    if you hold your cell phone up at concerts
    if you long for a Limp Bizkit reunion tour
    if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it…..giggity

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/zingersandwich zingersandwich

    …if you're up front trying to get a wave started.
    …if you're afraid to use the suicide lane.
    …if you can't wait for your turn to talk when Halo is mentioned.

    Tyler liked Twilight, cried at Biggest Loser and is an iPhone gamer.

  • jaypea

    …if you quote people based on their facebook/twitter status [stalker]
    …punch me in the arm every time you see a VW bug
    …try to start the wave at any major or minor sporting event
    …get mad when the people around you don't participate in the wave at any major/minor sporting event
    …participate in the wave in any major/minor sporting event
    …eat funions while traveling with me
    …own any season of 'law and order' and/or 'csi: miami/new york/chicago/nantuket/jackson hole'
    …have one of those fake baseballs/golf balls/hockey pucks that look like their stuck halfway through the back glass of your automobile
    …truck has testicles
    …reply to text messages with an emoticon

  • Lollie

    I've seen/heard you talk about the following….

    you like twlight, Ame has cut the grass, you sometimes respond with "i know, right", and you wear athletic jerseys while not playing a sport

    • http://www.gregdarley.com Greg Darley

      Agree on all of them. I'm pretty sure its a Deion Sanders jersey.

  • http://www.ponderingparenting.blogspot.com Lacey

    . . . if you let your two-year-old wear a jacket designed for her Curious George stuffed animal.
    . . . if you offer your children M&Ms right after breakfast.
    . . . if you read Tyler's blog before you read a book to your children

    Three of these are true about me right now.

  • http://www.sarahlewie.blogspot.com Sarah Lew

    Epic fail = 4+ for me….

    In other news…
    …if you answer the phone with any other language than your native one.
    …if you keep talking about how you were among the first to love a band (ie: Coldplay or the Avett brothers) and are pissed they are more mainstream now.
    …if you own a collection (that is, more than 3 or 4) of self-crafted figures from animated shows.
    …if you get judged for being too sci-fi weird among those who are also attending a “Lord of the Rings” festival.

  • tudy

    why would ANYone cry at the Biggest Loser, why does it make people happy/sad when people start doing what they SHOULD have been doing from the beginning. (eating right and exercising) are we gonna have a show called "worlds greatest dad" and it consists of dads feeding, reading to and tucking in their kids at night? why does that deserve the shedding of tears?

    - if you hear someone "get told" and reply third party with "OH SNAP!"
    - you wear a hat or a shirt or a bumper sticker that says totally inappropriate sexual things like "I'm not a gynecologist but I can take a look"
    - you wear an "Affliction" hat cocked to the side of your head with jeans that have WAY too much embroidery on the pockets
    -you talk about how wasted or –it faced you are gonna get this weekend (and it's only tuesday)
    -you go to Old Country Buffet because you think they have good shrimp

  • Nathan

    …If you pop your collar.
    …If you wear pukah shell necklaces
    …If you listen to Nickleback
    …If you spank your friends actually to hurt them….that's just weird and it sucks.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/evdaddy evdaddy

    Tyler, 1) Amy mows, 2) you cried at Biggest Loser, and 3) you liked Twilight.

    …if you have premium cable subscription for creative boost
    …if you like to tell people how old you are because you look younger than you really are
    …if you describe your wife as "smokin hot"
    …if all your knowledge of the Bible comes from movies
    …if you don't like Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA"

  • http://cjsmiller.blogspot.com chris miller

    …if you comment multiple times because you're under the impression that all comments have to be 140 characters or less.

  • http://cjsmiller.blogspot.com chris miller

    …if your ring tone is Listen Listen Listen (Autotune Andy)
    …if your Halloween costume is you holding a pickle on your chin

  • http://cjsmiller.blogspot.com chris miller

    …if your truck has metal testicles hanging from the hitch
    …if you refer to your coffee cup as the holy grail

  • Nolan

    …if your windshield wipers are going way too fast for how hard it’s raining outside.

    …if you’re the person testifying on radio station promos about how good that particular station is…how it never plays commercials like the other ones…how it gets you through the day at work, etc.

  • http://ilovemrpibb.blogspot.com Greta

    Hey, 3 are true about me too.
    What a co-in-key-dink.

    ::cheesy smile::

  • Jeff

    …If you're the person who commented before me.
    …If you cried when you watched the biggest loser last night.
    …If you watch the biggest loser.
    …If you update your facebook status more than once a day.
    …If you spend your sundays on your couch with a laptop counting your fantasy football points and making last minute substitutions.
    …If I'm riding in the car with you and you hit the roof really fast and yell, "popeye,"
    when you see a car with a headlight out.
    …If you still drink Tang.
    …If you wear Berkinstocks.
    …If you're a UGA fan.
    …If you go to Starbucks more than twice a week.
    …If you wear these…
    http://content.backcountry.com/images/items/small…

    Calling money "bones" makes me think of Andy Hutsell.
    You're probably an iphone gamer and your wife might mow the lawn. Im not sure about the other one.

  • Jeff

    couple i forgot..
    …If you eat at Donny's Country Cookin.
    …If you go to Panama City for spring break, and can't wait for, "SB'10."
    …If you're not in high school and paint up for any sporting event.
    …If you're a 40 year old woman, still wear your high school letter jacket, go to your alma mater's basketball games, go into the opponent's student section and curse at the students.

  • Rachel

    … if you prefer pirates over ninjas.

  • Mom

    It's pretty sad that everyone knows Amy mows your lawn – where did we go wrong? I know you have called dollars "bones" and I'm pretty sure you have left pennies in your tip. I'm also sure you cried during Biggest Loser – didn't we all. Tudy, you have to watch TBL to understand!

  • Amy

    tyler, amy mows the lawn, Twilight, and Iphone gamer.

    ….if you're a female and don't shave your legs.
    ….if you ask your dog questions.
    ….if you hang Easter eggs from strings in your trees in your front yard.
    ….if you stand around a dead deer in your driveway IN a neighborhood admiring your catch.

  • http://kevinkeigley.wordpress.com/ Kevin

    …if you have an African American sibling and you both were adopted by a well-to-do bachelor in New York who has an attractive daughter
    …if you have a goldfish named Abraham
    …if you have ever said, "What'chu talkin' 'bout Willis?"

  • Andrew

    ….if you ask for ketchup with your steak….
    ….if you recoil at the thought of a steak cooked anything but well done…….
    ….if i hear you tell your friends that waiters don't need tips, they already get paid…..

  • http://jaredtaft.wordpress.com jared

    …if your facebook profile photo is an image of your favorite team's logo.

  • http://breakingthrough.tumblr.com/ Jeremy

    …if you describe yourself online using the word "ninja"
    …if you know any words of the following languages: Klingon, Elvish, or Wookie
    …if you always follow things you say in text with written out body language (ex. **grins** **bows**, etc.)
    …if you use abbreviations like"lol", "rofl", or "lmao" and you're 40
    …if you drive a Volvo
    …if you have more than 3 cats

  • Amber

    …if you just bought your pet a halloween costume
    …if you communicate with your spouse via facebook
    …if you wear disney sweatshirts
    …if you have taken off the TO TA on your Toyoto so that it now says YO
    …if you've ever said "Rut Ro George"
    …if you've got a tented screen over your license plate