Diminishing Returns
November 9th, 2009 - Uncategorized - 8 Comments »More is not always better. Unfortunately, some companies have ignored this principle altogether and adopted the less-popular creed “it doesn’t matter how irrational the end result will be, more is our best option.” Here are a few examples that come to mind…
Razor Blades
The Mach 3 is almost laughable now. Three blades? What, is Clinton still in office? The new standard is a minimum of five blades, multiple lubricating strips, and a colorful, aerodynamic handle (incase you’re shaving at high speeds). Where is this going? By the time I teach my boys how to shave, I’ll be showing them how to put on their razor mask (416 blades) and shake their head up and down for the closest shave yet (which will still be the tag line).
Chicken Soup for the Soul
I’m in the process of developing a theory that if you don’t fit into a Chicken Soup for the Soul category, you are the most worthless person on the planet. Sure, that may sound harsh, but I don’t even think I’m offending anyone. We may have reached the point where it is physically impossible to avoid being categorized by CS for the S. Isn’t that a sign of end times?
NOW
My friend (and financial adviser) Justin told me he just saw a commercial for NOW That’s What I Call Music 32. Thirty-freaking-two! Where will the line be drawn? I bet the only person who owns every NOW album has also seen every episode of Survivor.
Ply
Hey Charmin, we were fine with two-ply. I’m not sure who told you we needed more, but that person cannot be trusted. Instead of progressively adding more and more ply (to the point that we’ll be wiping with a beach towel), why don’t you concentrate your efforts on something more practical, like, I don’t know, massaging toilet paper or toilet paper with apps.
What else?
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CSI and Law and Order spin-offs? What's next, CSI: Rural Area?
you're so right, tyler. I wonder these same things, myself! there is a positive side to some of these ridiculous "upgrades" or "improvements". For instance, I don't have children yet, but I look forward to the day when I can sit down with them, and watch Land Before Time 83, with them. It will be a nostalgic feeling. I'll tell them that I saw the fist one, when it came out on VHS.
I think the fact that NOW has released "now that's what i call a country christmas" is greater proof of having gone too far
How many Final Fantasy games can there be in which each one is still called "Final"?
you should know about this: http://www.charmin.com/en_US/enjoy-the-go/index.p...
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tyler Stanton, Jon Earls. Jon Earls said: Made me laugh – especially the part about the razors!
http://bit.ly/2BwQqc [...]
how about Wendy's? The Baconator? really? I don't know where the line between guilty pleasure and sweaty, sweat pants wearing no shower guy is, but the baconator is not a guilty pleasure…
Ok. I'm just catching up on the week but I'd like to submit David Hasselhoff. His value has diminsihed immensely through every version of him for 3 decades-actually, his stint on Young and the Restless may have started in the seventies so make that 4. (Im proud to be one of your oldest commenters-is that a word?)