1. Favorite Real Product – Celery: a 2-way computerless email system

2. Favorite Deal – FREE Redbox rentals (just put in one of these codes and get it FREE – thanks Ev)

3. Favorite Wii Game – Mario Kart

4. Favorite Website – davidmovie.com

5. Favorite New TV Show – Men of a Certain Age (genius “dramatic pause” button in top right corner of site)

6. Favorite Mashup – DJ Earworm’s United State of Pop 2009 (watch 2008′s here)

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Being sick the past couple days has resulted in me watching an absurd amount of football. I think taking in such a concentrated amount in such a short amount of time has greatly intensified my disgust for certain aspects of the sport. See if you agree…

50. Bowl Names
I think I’d rather have a 3-7 season than go to one of the following (real) bowls:  Advocare V100 Independence Bowl, R + L Carriers New Orleans Bowl, Papajohns.com Bowl, or the Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl. Where is this going? “Hey, did you see The Nagano Hibachi Steakhouse and Sushi Bar First Half?” “No, my car battery died. I barely made it back for the Smoothie King Field Goal at the end of The You-Can-Do-It-We-Can-Help-Home-Depot Overtime.”

51. Post-tackle Body Spasm
This typically occurs directly after a defensive player sacks the quarterback. He gets up from the ground as fast as he can, sprints about seven feet away, and unleashes a body spasm so embarrassing that people send condolences to his family. Either that or he beats the crap out of his own chest to remind everyone that he was responsible for what just happened, or he nods his head so aggressively you’d think someone just asked him if he thinks highly of himself.

52. No Yellow Line
The yellow first down line is the single greatest innovation in sports history. Why would a network purposefully choose to not use it? Is it money? If it’s a money issue, let me offer a suggestion. We’d rather you black out the entire second quarter of the game to play freecreditreport.com commercials if it means we get the yellow line the rest of the game. Never compromise on this again.

53. Halftime Interview
Come on, Networks. I get what you’re trying to do here, but is this really necessary? I don’t think a single profound word has ever been spoken in one of these interviews. I think the coaches do it on purpose so they’ll eventually stop having to do them.

Reporter: Coach, tell us… What are your thoughts on the first half?
Coach: (annoyed) Well, we need to do a little better offensively…and, um, defensively.
Reporter: Fascinating. Back to you guys in the booth.
Booth Commentator 1: He tells it like it is, doesn’t he?
Booth Commentator 2: Straight shooter!

Thoughts? What do you hate, if anything, about fútbol americano? Nate Rector and Bryan Allain – I expect you two to have a lot to say about this.
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…Airbrushed Unicorns and Wizards! Thanks to all 229 of you who voted. And a big thanks to Erin for the winning submission (dang you Erin). I’ll be sure to post a picture of it on my car when it gets here.

I’m going to take a few days off from blogging for the holidays. So, in the meantime, here are some more Amazon recommendations for you to buy with all of that Christmas money you get (mouse over the title for details).

Funny Books
Ant Farm: And Other Desperate Situations
Free-Range Chickens
Me Talk Pretty One Day
The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World
When You Are Engulfed in Flames
Stuff Christians Like

Funny TV Shows
Arrested Development – The Complete Series (Seasons 1, 2, 3)
The Office – The Complete Collection BBC Edition (First And Second Series Plus Special)
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Seasons 1-4
30 Rock: Seasons 1-3
Extras – The Complete Series (Includes Series Finale)

Funny Stand Up
Jim Gaffigan: King Baby
Ellen DeGeneres – Here and Now
Jim Gaffigan – Beyond the Pale
Jeff Foxworthy: You Might Be a Redneck If…

Funny DVDs
Hot Rod
The Best of Will Ferrell – Volumes 1& 2

Other Books
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Born to Run

Creative Inspiration
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life
And Here’s the Kicker: Conversations with 21 Top Humor Writers on their Craft
Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us

You have until 11:59 tomorrow night to vote. Whichever one you choose, I’ll use all the Amazon money I’ve made (roughly $13), buy the license plate, and sport it proudly for a month. There are no rules for this contest. Whichever entry has the most votes, wins. Feel free to use whatever means necessary for your cause (Twitter, Facebook, picket signs, tattoos, etc).

If you need a reminder of what these license plates look like, click on the orange arrow on the right of each entry. Oh, and if you have no idea what is happening here, read this first.

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NOTE: Tomorrow is the big Pick-My-License-Plate Vote. Be sure to stop by and help decide my fate.
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Amy and I haven’t really settled in on too many Christmas traditions. We want to – we just haven’t landed on any winners. Like any married couple, we’re still having to scroll through each of our family’s traditions to see which ones make the cut. Here are a few from my childhood that I’m still not sure about.

Picture with Santa
I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I was forced to get my picture taken with Santa until I was eighteen. Let that sink in for a minute. Not as a joke. Not as a fun thing to do with your girlfriend. Nope, just me and my brothers living the dream. What did you do during your Christmas break freshman year of college? Really? That sounds fun. Me? Oh, I sat on an old man’s lap.

Candy Tree
You know, it’s the one with 25 candy slots, one for each December day leading up to Christmas. There’s never been more of an incentive for me to wake up early. God forbid I get stuck with the lemon Jolly Rancher.

Top of the stairs
On Christmas morning, my Dad would make me and my brothers wait at the top of the stairs while he set up the video camera. My suspicion is that his “setting up” also included making (and drinking) a pot of coffee, reading the Sunday paper, opening and re-wrapping our gifts, and jogging a couple miles. I think I’ve spent more time at the top of those stairs than doctor’s office waiting rooms and dentist’s chairs combined.

Hygiene joke
Every year it was the same thing. Towards the bottom of our stocking, we’d pull out a bunch of personal hygiene items (deodorant, toothpaste, etc) and I’d exclaim, with the same gusto as the first time I said it, “Looks like Santa’s trying to tell me something!” My family’s courtesy laugh was also a tradition.

Clear the den
One of the greatest things about Christmas is that your den gets transformed into a toy haven. Wrapping paper is everywhere. My 10-speed is propped up against the coffee table. The Sega Genesis is plugged in and already being played. Then around 3pm, like clockwork, we had to take our loot upstairs/outside, thus transforming the den back into it’s boring self. At that moment, it was already the 26th.

What about you? Got any Christmas traditions that we should try out/avoid?
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