32

Christmas Songs That Need to Die

December 1st, 2009 - Uncategorized - 32 Comments »

I have to admit – I am, quite possibly, one of the biggest Christmas music fans of all time. If it were socially acceptable, I would start listening to my Christmas playlist in mid-August. Just yesterday, I logged a good seven hours listening to the Mariah Carey Christmas station on Pandora. I’m not proud of it.

There are, however, a few Christmas songs that need to be eliminated from the face of the planet. Here’s a small sampling to get the conversation started. I know there are plenty more…

1. I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus by The Ronettes
(Click here to listen)

2. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Gayla Peevey
(Click here to listen)

3. The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late) by Alvin and the Chipmunks
(Click here to listen)

4. Christmas Shoes by Newsong
(Click here to listen)

5. Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt
(Click here to listen)

Any others that you hope to never hear again?
___

  • Mark

    Emphatic agreement!

  • Ally

    I may find an angry mob of Beatles fan's surrounding my car when I leave work this afternoon, but for the love of all that is good and sacred, can we please eradicate "Christmas Time is Here Again" from all radio stations? A little vomit rises in the back of my throat every time I hear it. Does it not remind anyone else of the musician in "Love Actually?"

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention tylerstanton.com » Christmas Songs That Need to Die -- Topsy.com

  • Jeremy

    AMEN on Christmas Shoes! The only time I ever consider swerving into oncoming traffic is when that song comes on. I will have to disagree with you on Alvin & Chipmunks, Still love it.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/DavidVosburg DavidVosburg
  • Jason

    I'd like to add "Feliz Navidad" by Jose Feliciano… I used to work at a jewelry store in downtown Los Angeles, and we were right next door to an electronics store where they would blare that song on the big stereos over AND OVER AND OVER all day long during the Christmas season. Every time I hear that song, I want to scream and run around and break things.

  • nate

    Oh Tenenbaum!

    my wife has never asked if we could decorate the tenenbaum, nor do i own any tenenbaum ornaments or decorations. i do not put presents under the tenenbaum.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/joannamuses joanna

    The new lady gaga christmas song. If you haven't heard it DO NOT go look for it. It is exceptionally disturbing

  • http://mysunkcosts.blogspot.com Erin

    Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses.

    It's no Christmas Shoes, but it's close.

  • jeff

    Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time is the most annoying song ever. And is religion neutral therefore getting tons of radio and retail play!

  • dani

    I will agree to all of these except for the Hippo song. Its one of my favorites. The others can all GO!

  • Kelly

    “Happy Birthday Jesus” just makes my skin crawl.

  • http://baylordia.blogspot.com Cyndia

    Feliz Navidad … which Christian music stations seem to believe should be played once an hour during December.

  • http://jacobs3rs.blogspot.com Jacob

    I know most disagree, but the Elvis version of Blue Christmas makes me hate Christmas for a few seconds.

  • http://ccstra54.blogspot.com Chuck

    "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". My grandmother was killed on Christmas Day in a car accident, so… yeah.

    If you can tolerate Patton Oswalt's course language, he has an interesting take on Christmas shoes- Why would Jesus care about mama's footwear. You can Youtube it…

    In "cleaner" Patton Oswalt news- here's his take on the Chipmunks:

    http://ccstra54.blogspot.com/2009/11/tis-season.h…

  • http://www.shallowfrozenwater.blogspot.com shallowfrozenwater

    this isnt what you were talking about but i absolutely love the old Bing Crosby/David Bowie “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy” duet that i absolutely MUST listen to it every Christmas, several times if i can find it.

  • KHazelrigg

    Two songs to remove forever, please:

    1> "Do They Know It's Christmas" by Band-Aid, because I don't like hearing this message: "I know it's Christmas and everything, but you can't feel all happy and celebratory or anything, because people on the other side of the world are hungry, so if you enjoy Christmas, you just suck." Hmm. Can't imagine why that's not my favorite.
    2> "Happy Christmas (War Is Over) by John & Yoko, because I just hate it.

  • Marilyn

    Tyler, Tyler, Tyler ~~ I know you are fam but must you diss Eartha, Alvin and the Hippo?

  • KHazelrigg

    Oh–and "Last Christmas" by George Michael. May it die a thousand deaths….

  • http://www.blogelemy.com Jason B

    KHazelrigg beat me to it. "Last Christmas" by George Michael turns me into Ebeneazer Scrooge.

  • indymavs

    Please, please, please shut off "Carol of the Bells"… for the love of all that is Christmas-y

  • Bryan

    Mary did you know?…Kenny Rogers. I can do forever without this song. I'm also pretty sure that if an angel appeared to Mary saying she would begat God's Son, she knew.

    My wife also hates Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time…nice call Jeff

  • indymavs

    Every single version of "The 12 Days of Christmas" ever recorded. period.

  • Zac

    If you don't like 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,' then I am sure you really hope that 'I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus' by Standstill would die.

  • Kyle

    Chipmunks? One of the greatest still. And the only reason you don't like Christmas shoes is because it makes you cry every time… And I know that we are brothers because I have Mariah's CD in my car as I type.

  • Mom

    We have to agree to disagree – Mary did you know? is one of the best songs around! I cry everytime I hear it – guess you haven't had a baby boy yet!

  • Sarah

    As a piano teacher who has heard every possible rendition of 'Jingle Bells'… and who has subsequently 'misplaced' that piece in every Christmas piano book, I say down with the Jingle Bells, forever and ever more, amen.

  • Annamarie

    All I want for Christmas is You – Maria Carey!!! Enough already!!!

    • Rebecca

      you're crazy. that is hands down the best christmas song ever.

  • Patty

    Let's add "Fum, Fum, Fum" "we Three Kings" and "Lulee, Lullay" to the list. What does Fum, Fum Fum even mean?

  • http://www.metacognician.com Kendra

    At my house, it's just not Black Friday without an all-day loop of the Elvis Christmas CD (so sorry to the Blue Christmas hater above). Sadly, when I was a kid, my parents played it (along with Bing Crosby and Evie and the Gaithers albums) on one of those huge wooden console stereos where you stacked a bunch of records and it played them in order dropping one at a time (70's technology at it's finest) so I only feel all warm and Christmassy with the songs on Side A of the record.

    If I got to shoot one Christmas song execution-style I'd pick Don't They Know It's Christmas but I'd give Band-Aid a cigarette first.

  • Kerry

    "Christmas in the Northwest"

    Yes, this is a real, live song. And the best part is the chorus…

    "Christmas in the Northwest, is a gift that we can share. Christmas in the Northwest, is a child's answered prayer. Take away the presents, and you still have a tree. 'Coz Christmas in the Northwest is a gift God wrapped in green."

    I'm just sayin