59. “To make a long story short”
This is typically inserted into the end of a story that has already gone way too long. I got news for you pal – David Blaine couldn’t make your long story short. The damage has already been done.

60. Puppet Commercials
Every time I see a Lebron James or Kobe Bryant puppet commercial come on TV, I die a little inside. And if I’m dying inside, just imagine how Lil’ Penny must feel. Someone should really tell Nike that puppet charactures ruin careers. Speaking of, has anyone thought about Anfernee Hardaway since 1998? What is he doing now?

61. Pompous Waiters
Hey Lanier (that’s always his name), don’t scoff at me for not knowing what vegetable escabeche is. It’s your job to know, not mine. Oh, and you should know that I’m basing your tip on a complex algorithm I came up with that factors in how quickly you can explain it to me, whether or not a seven-year-old understand it, your height, and your facial expression when I ask for the silverware I didn’t get. It usually comes out to be around 20%.

62. Covered Back Tire
I would rather drive a PT Cruiser than have a car that has the half-covered back tire. You know what I’m talking about. Instead of the car’s paneling arching around the back tire, it has decided to sprint straight across to the back bumper. This “feature” is usually reserved for Oldsmobiles and Buicks.

63. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”
Dudes say this after something awesome happens, even though they haven’t spoken or “talked about” anything. Where did this come from? I guess the phrase’s originator just got bored with the typical expressions of joy (I kind of don’t blame him).

I’d love to hear what’s annoying you these days. It will help me feel less shallow.

For more of the million peeves, click here.
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Post sponsored by Atlanta Personal Injury Attorney, Robert N. Susko