60

Busting, Bussing and Other Word Fails

May 12th, 2010 - Uncategorized - 60 Comments »

[Holy crap: Don Miller blogged about me today. Check it out here.]
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Yesterday, with the help of many readers, I learned that clearing a table off at a restaurant is not called “busting a table”. Not in the least. I believe the correct term is “bussing”, which, come on, makes a whole lot less sense than “busting”, right? Anyway, I think everyone should know that this wasn’t the first time (nor will it be the last) that I’ve made a mockery of the English language.

“I’m a lizard baby…”
In high school I bought the Beck’s Mellow Gold album for one reason and one reason only – the song Loser. I loved that song. And I was well aware that the song was called Loser. Yet, for some reason, it made complete sense to me that Beck would spend the chorus referring to himself as a lizard. Not only that, but this is how I thought the entire chorus went: “Soooo, o-o-pen the doooor. I’m a lizard baby, so why don’t you kill me.”

“Drot”
Sometimes draft (as in draft beer) is spelled “draught”. I’ll never forget the look on the waiter’s face when I asked him what “drot beers” they had. Never. It was a weird blend of pity and rage.

“For all intensive purposes”
This is one that I’ve never actually messed up out loud. How could I? I have no idea what the correct phrase even means, much less the confidence to insert it into a conversation. I just remember the day I read “for all intents and purposes” in an article and how sorry I felt for the guy who wrote it. How embarrassed must he have been when he found out? I now know.

“Backstreet’s back in the atmosphere”
This never made complete sense to me. I couldn’t wrap my mind around why Train would be singing about the Backstreet Boys in their song Drops of Jupiter.

“That’s a mute point”
We’ve all probably seen the Friends episode where Joey gets called out for thinking it was called a “moo point”. He tried to defend it by saying, “Yeah. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.” Well the joke, it seems, was also on me. Someone asked what the real phrase was (what an idiot!) and I confidently informed her what Joey meant was that it was a mute point. That day I learned a valuable lesson: knowing the wrong thing is much, much worse than not knowing at all.

What about you? Am I the only one who screws up the English language on a regular basis?

*For those keeping score at home, the correct phrases are Soy un perdedor, I’m a loser baby…; Draft; For all intents and purposes; Now that she’s back in the atmosphere; and Moot point.
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Post sponsored by Atlanta Personal Injury Attorney, Robert N. Susko

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/shawnsmucker shawnsmucker

    You know the REM song that goes "Calling child, wake up (calling child wake up)"? I had a friend who used to sing, really loud, Calling Jamaica, calling Jamaica

    • nitz

      The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight. The lyric is "Call me when you try to wake her". Fail x 2.

      • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/shawnsmucker shawnsmucker

        i guess knowing the wrong thing IS much better than not knowing at all. darn it. i am an idiot.

  • http://www.evanforester.com Evan

    This is a similar thing: Last night my wife and I were joking around and she called me selfish. Well, she meant to say selfish, but what came out was “shellfish”. I responded by asking her if she meant crab or lobster. She then punched me in the arm.

  • David

    you're killing me with the backstreet's back in the atmosphere!

    and who hasn't asked a stupid question to a waiter that gets a look of pity and rage? you could write a whole blog on this alone – how it usually happens between ordering drinks and ordering the meal – and the rest of the dinner is spent trying to recover…with a waiter you'll probably never see again.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/tylerstanton Tyler Stanton

      That's a great idea Dave. I've been logging waiter material for quite some time.

  • http://www.SoEveryDay.com Lacey

    Yesterday (really. yesterday.) I saw a TV show and the guy said "right of way" in referring to travel – you know, like the "right of way" at a yield sign or a stop sign or whatever.

    I was surprised. (But I did not reveal my surprise to those watching television with me. I like to keep my shame private. Until now.)

    Until that very moment, I had always thought the phrase was "right a way". (When I write that down – it seems just ridiculous.)

    And perhaps the even funnier thing? As soon as I made that mental correction, I thought of you. Yes – you, Tyler Stanton.

    • http://breannemclendon.blogspot.com/ Breanne

      Umm..pretty sure I just said this phrase about 10 times in my head after reading this comment. I have apparently always said it wrong as well. Good to know now!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/BenofBenandJacq BenofBenandJacq

    I shook my head slowly while reading yesterday's post, when I got to "busting a table."

    Today I laughed aloud. Several times. Well played.

  • http://ilovemrpibb.blogspot.com Greta

    I distinctly remember the moment my friend, Stephanie (Scavotto), and I were browsing through soccer gear catalogs (becaaaause we were that cool) and she pointed to a hat she liked and told me she wanted it in "ca-he-key".

    And what she meant was khaki. Being that I was in middle at the time, there haven't been many times in my laugh that I've laughed that hard.

    She's the same friend who would sing "Barbizon, barbizon! (as in the modeling agency)" while OMC's How Bizarre was playing.

    • http://ilovemrpibb.blogspot.com Greta

      Wow, two typos in my own comment. Barf.
      I wasn't just in middle….that was middle school. And, of course, I meant there haven't been many times in my LIFE that I've laughed that hard.

  • mgg

    in high school our Young Life leaders replaced a line in a CCR song with "There's a bathroom on the right". Unfortunately it was years later and in great embracement that I learned it was "There's a bad moon on the rise."

  • http://830eyes.wordpress.com Katie

    When I was a teenager I was a waitress at a steakhouse and someone ordered Rum & Coke, but I didn't quite grasp what they said and thought it was some weird drink I'd never heard of so I asked the bartender to make a Roman Coke. I never lived it down.

  • KAS

    I laughed out loud at your second point. Not an "Oh, Tyler Stanton is so ridiculous" kind of laugh, but an "oh my goodness, I didn't know that was supposed to be 'draft'!!" kind of laugh. My entire life, up until about 5 minutes ago, when I saw "draught", I thought "a period of little-to-no water". Ugh. I'm learning so much from your blog.

  • http://bryanallain.com bryan a

    my favorite mis-heard lyric of all time comes from my buddy Nate who thought the Full House theme song went:

    What ever happened to predictability?
    The milk man, the paper boy, evening T.V
    You miss your old familiar friends,
    are waiting to surround the bear.

  • Jessica

    I laughed at your "busting tables" yesterday and then today I realized I was just as guilty of improper use of English. I've spent 27 years thinking "for all intensive purposes" was the correct saying. Thanks for educating me.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/jskogerboe jskogerboe

    One of my favorites: A friend of ours years ago in school used the phrase "Take it for granite." When we asked for clarification, they explained slowly and clearly, "You know… take… it… for… GRANITE. It's rock solid. Right?" Oh yes. It's real. Mirth overload.

  • Dresch

    Stone Mountain is a great place to visit, but the locals sometimes take it for granite. (my dads joke)

    My favorite is "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza" from Phoebe in Friends.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/tylerstanton Tyler Stanton

      Dresch-
      Thank you for reminding me of the Tony Danza line. I get so happy when I get to introduce that to people.

  • http://www.mypoorhusband.blogspot.com Rachael

    Oops! I thought it was "mute" point, too! haha on myself today!

  • nate

    this may be my favorite post ever. well done. and no, i’m not the Nate that Brian was referring to in his comment. Though I wish I were, that was the funniest part of the whole post. I literally LOLed, and almost ROLFed.

  • Sam

    Ha! That Beck song has been confusing people in all sorts of ways! A friend of mine in college was CERTAIN that the chorus started out "Soar over Canada…"

    Btw… I found you via Donald Miller! love it.

  • GrammarGirl

    I expected you to say you could care less which is of course incorrect. If some one can care less that means they do care at some level so instead of saying "I could care less if. . ." the correct thing to say is "I couldn't care less . . .".

    • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/dubdynomite dubdynomite

      This phrase is my biggest pet peeve.

      People saying "couldn't care less" wrong is something I COULD care less about….

  • http://www.colejennette.com Cole Jennette

    ummm….one time I spent an entire 8th grade biology paper refering to Organisms with an entirely different O word………

    I’m pretty sure my teacher told all of her friends about that one.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/tylerstanton Tyler Stanton

      That was you?

    • stacikristine

      I'm laughing so hard I can barely breathe right now.

  • http://www.shallowfrozenwater.blogspot.com Ian

    i'm still not sure of the lyrics to "Blinded by the Light", i'm not sure anybody really is.

    but maybe that's before your time.

  • http://jamesbrett.wordpress.com JamesBrett

    shawn, dude, i never knew that line in the rem song. until i read your comment just now, i thought it was “call me and try to wake her up {repeat}…”

  • http://jamesbrett.wordpress.com JamesBrett

    or i could read further into the comments before posting. dang. i’m so stupid. anger rising.

  • http://mattarcher.net Matt

    i always thought it was "disconcerning" never quite understood the word – but I used it a lot… turns out it's actually disconcerting… like when you're leaving a concert I guess. To make things worse the other day my cat came home with this little rodent in it's mouth and my wife says, "Is that a vole?" and i'm all (shaking my head) honey, it's call a MOLE… I'm a freakin' idiot.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/tylerstanton Tyler Stanton

      If it makes you feel any better, I had to google "vole" just to know what you were talking about.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/downtownshakespeare downtownshakespeare

    BAHAHAAHAHHA – those are great.

    I tend to overdramatize words. For example – I pronounced "pomagranate" like "pomagranatay" for years – no one told me it was wrong until I was a junior in college.

    Ooops.

  • Shelly

    Years ago, my daughter had been watching Toy Story shortly before Christmas so it wasn't so crazy that she thought the song "Worthy is the Lamb" was "Woody is the Lamb." Just assumed the lamb's name was Woody…

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/kitpalmer Kit Palmer

    I had a boss that used to say, "It's a mook point.", and it's taken me most of my life to break my mom from saying "Wal-Marks".

  • Stepanie

    Oh my. My brother will never let me forget the time I was in his room, listening to his stereo with headphones on, singing quite loudly…"Penny, Penny, Penny in the Chest….." Sorry, Elton….I know now it was 'Benny and the Jets…"
    Brother Dear recorded it and played it back at dinner for all to hear.

  • http://www.findtimefortea.com Kimberly

    I don't often get sound alike words confused, but I'm really good at using cliches and slang inappropriately. I'm not sure my husband has ever forgiven me for referring to his biceps as "jugs". Umm, yeah, I think that was supposed to be "guns".
    Found you by way of D. Miller. Funny, funny stuff:)

    • stacikristine

      Haha!

  • Bryan

    I asked a waiter what "ENTRIES" he recommended, which makes sense to me. Stupid French words. At least I didn't ask for "HORSE DEVORS"

    • KAS

      Hahaha, hilarious!

  • http://whatautismtaughtme.blogspot.com/ Elizabeth

    I only just learned last month that the correct lyric in Billie Jean is "the kid is not my son." I've always thought it was "but Jeanie's not my sign!" As in he liked her and all, but she wasn't his sign so he couldn't pursue her. Um, right.

    But my favorite came last week when a coworker, reading a headline on a website, turned to me and asked, "What is a MOLE-ster?" We stared at each other a second, blank looks on our faces, honestly trying to figure out what a MOLE-ster was, then burst into a fit of laughter when we figured out what the word really was! Sometimes your eyes just play tricks on you.

  • stacikristine

    I'm still laughing about the Backstreet Boys in "Drops of Jupiter".

    I do this ALL the time! In fact, I just learned (after reading your post) that it's not "for all intensive purposes". Really?? Hm. Learn something every day.

    "I like girls that wear half a clammean fish"
    Let me preface this one by saying I was living in a small town in Oklahoma when LFO's "Summer Girls" came out. We'd never even heard of Abercrombie and Fitch. So what did my friends and I sing? "I like girls that wear half a clammean fish. I'd take her if I had one wish…" Don't ask what a clammean fish is–I have no clue. And I really don't know why she'd be wearing half of one.

    "Mighty Mouse outside Chicago"
    You know that song from "A Walk to Remember"–"It's Gonna be Love"? Instead of "ninety miles outside Chicago", I always thought it said "Mighty Mouse outside Chicago, can't stop drivin. I don't know why…" It made me feel better when I got to college and my roommate thought the same thing.

    "I think I'm gonna have a heart-attack and die from NOT surprise"
    My husband and I fought about what Iago says in "Aladdin" for about 20 minutes before we finally turned on the DVD, turned up the volume, and listened hard. Oops. He was right. It's "THAT surprise". Yeah, that makes more sense anyway… The only thing worse than being wrong about something stupid like this is fighting like you're right and then being proved wrong.

    "Allstar"
    My brother, cousin and I had no clue what half of the chorus of this song was. But instead of finding out, we actually made our own music video and sang "…hey now, you're a rock star. Get your show on, get paid. And daw-daw-da-da-da-dawww. Only shootin stars break the mold."

    I could go on and on and on…

  • MAE

    nice… the great thing about this post and these comments, you realize youre not the only dumby out there!

    My dad always woke us up to the saying "up and at 'em." To a kid that sounds a whole lot like "up and Adam." I had no clue why you would say that, but i figured out the truth while reading a comic strip of Garfield.
    Also had the problem with this one: you know when you get baptized (at least in an oldschool baptist church) the preacher says "…buried with Christ in baptism… Raised to walk in newness of life" I was always wondering what the heck "noo-ness" of life was!
    And as far as lyrics go, the list could be like 10 pages long… but one that is really ridiculous is "semi-charmed Life"… i didnt care if that was the name of the song (mostly cause i didnt know what the song was even called) but i always thought he said "ssemi-COLD kind of life"… why cant singers pronounce the words?

    and as far as a family member is concerned… My sister- "I cant drink milk or have too much ice cream cause i'm Lactose AND Tolerant" Me-"Hey dumby, it's Lactose INtolerant"

    • stacikristine

      I thought it was "semi-chong kind of life" until a few years ago!

  • http://www.heathersviewfromtheshoe.blogspot.com Heather

    My very intelligent best friend explained to me one time that after her mother died she was a "piranha" at her school.
    She didn't believe me and had to look it up when I explained to her that the term was "pariah". (She claimed she had been saying it the wrong way for 25 years.)

  • amber

    "make ends meat"– i never really understood what this meant but i had just decided it had something to do with someone who couldn't afford to put a last dinner of meat on the table or something? it made way more sense when i saw 'make ends meet' in writing.

    also.. im still up in the air on whether is a prank call or a crank call. ive been wondering since middle school.

  • http://www.secondhandexperience.blogspot.com Cora

    This whole post was so funny, especially the busting a table part. And congrats on the Donald Miller blog. I was a little peeved about it myself though. See, I was planning on doing a blog post with MY favorite Tripp and Tyler videos this week. Now that Don's gone and done it, I feel like my thunder has been stolen. Darn you Donald Miller!

  • http://www.alifeaboutme.com Andrea

    When I was really young I called cigarettes cigarats. like, cigar + rats. Yeah, I was made fun of so hard I changed how I said it real fast. And I hate listening to people sing in the car – but it is awesome when they destroy lyrics.

    Someone said earlier about blinded by the light lyrics – and I agree. I think no one really knows what they are saying. I just make it up as I go along. I like the song. At least I know I'm way off.

  • rebeccamillwood

    You know that Miley Cyrus song “Its the climb”? I was in a car with some friends listening to it and the last line of the chorus I belted out “aint about how fast I get there, aint about what’s waiting on the other side, Kiss the clock!”

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/tylerstanton Tyler Stanton

      That might be the best I've heard.

      ………………..

      tyler stanton

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  • Rachael

    So, I had no idea that "all intensive purposes" was actually "all intents and purposes." I seriously use that phrase all the time, now I'm gonna have to come up with something new! Thanks for saving me from an embarrassing moment. Knowing me I'd say it during a job interview…

  • http://trippcrosby.com tripp crosby

    "this safternoon"

    CCR – "theeeeeere's a bathroom on the right"

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/unrehearsedsymphony unrehearsedsymphony

    After Macy Gray busted out the song "I Try", I thought for years that she was saying "…when I try to hide it, it's clear, I wore goggles when you are not there."
    I went into McDonalds once and wanted a chicken burger seared rather than crispy. I said "sea-red". The guy laughed at me. Then I laughed at myself. Good times..

    **my world crumbles when you are not there**

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  • kendra

    one of my friends thought that "risque" was a fancy way of saying "risky". So while driving one day, i changed lanes rather quickly and she announced later to a group that i was a risque driver. Someone asked if that meant i drove around naked.

    Also, until recently i called dachshunds "dash-unnnds"

  • Lauren

    My favorite misheard lyrics…

    From Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know": It's not fair… to remind me… of the CROSS-EYED BEAR that you gave to me (you you you oughta know). Yes, for real.

    A friend from high school once thought the words were "Hold me close, I'm trying to dance… uhhhhhh." Yes, "uhhhhh" were her actual lyrics.

    And I gotta say, Tyler, the fact that you are a Friends fan (and even quoted Joey's "moo point") just got you butt-loads of points in my book, above all the other dudes I've been reading lately. It was a mix of my pastor's blog (Pete Wilson from Cross Point in Nashville) and Donald Miller, but I have somehow come across you, Tripp, Bryan Allain, and John Acuff in the past month… and my boring days at work have been forever enlightened.

  • http://lavidaencantada.blogspot.com Raychel

    Here in Dallas there is a tollway called The George Bush Turnpike and my mom never fails to call it "The Bush". We die laughing every time. There's also a road here called Coit and she cannot pronounce it right to save her life. She calls it co-it.

  • Jeremy

    I remember in my younger days in Colorado, I always heard the weather peeps refer to wind chill temps. I didn’t understand what difference “WindShield” temperatures made to me. Oh, what a fool:~)

  • nemo

    Here are a few that are used wrong so often that most people think you are wrong when you are right:

    "Try a different tact". The word is "tack"–as in point of sail….you can approach a windward point obliquely from two directions, but not directly.
    "Momento" — correct word is "memento" which has everything to do with remembering and memory and nothing to do with moments.
    "That doesn't jive" — the correct expression is "gibe" and it means to line up, and has nothing to do with dancing, although the image is interesting.
    "Kudo(s)" — There is no such thing as a "kudo". Kudos is a singular noun, like ethos, eros, pathos, etc. It means "praise".