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Hate List

June 28th, 2010 - Uncategorized - 23 Comments »

If you’re wondering how the Hate List differs from my running list of Pet Peeves, I’m not really sure. Nor am I sure how Pet Peeves differ from Don’t Be That Guys, or how Don’t Be That Guys differ from I Already Know a Lot About Yous. I guess it’s just a desperate attempt for this one trick pony to appear multidimensional. Whatever the case may be, here are some more items I would punch if my hand wouldn’t get hurt in the process.

(The first 10 can be found here)

11. Stringy book bags – You know, the ones that look like miniature draw-stringed laundry bags (or, better yet, merchandise bags from the Apple Store)? Non-13-year-old girls should never wear them.

12. First half of a snow cone – No one gets a snow cone for its unique texture. Either give me more sugar liquid, or scrape off that clear mound of nothingness before you give it to me. If it’s not going to give my teeth a blue tint, I’m not interested.

13. Voicemail re-instruction –  The biggest waste of eight seconds in human history is the computer woman’s reiteration of how to leave a voicemail, directly after you have done so (and even that’s a tad unnecessary). Oh, and no – I will never press 5 to leave a callback number.

14. Root Beer – The black sheep of the beer family. You’ve done worse things in the name of beer than Bud Dry ever dreamt of doing.

15. Moving car seats from one car to the other – I know there’s an entire group of you kid-less readers who simply can’t understand how awful this is. As a matter of fact, I’m not even going to try to explain it. I’m going to let those of you with kids explain it in the comments section.

Fill in the blank: “I would rather __________ than move our kids’ car seats from one car to the other.”

16. ALL CAPS – Regardless of whether you’re really happy or really angry, it is never OK for an entire email to be written in all caps. Rule of thumb: If your sentence doesn’t involve Landon Donovan scoring a game-winning goal in stoppage time, refrain from using all caps.

What do you hate? Taxes and traffic don’t count. Spice it up a little.
___

Post sponsored by Atlanta Personal Injury Attorney, Robert N. Susko

  • http://gaskillrascals.blogspot.com/ Gaskill Rascal

    My husband uses this theory to get out of the car seat duty…."honey, you are just better at it than me" So, basically 'He would rather admit defeat, than change car seats from one car to the other'. That's big time.

    • peter

      i hate restaurants/gas stations that have their logo's on the exit signs, but are nowhere close to the exit. If it's not clearly visible from the off ramp, it should not get it's logo on the sign.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/tylertarver Tyler Tarver

    I hate it when people stick their tongues out in pictures. They'll put it to the side and make it all gross and stiff like those evil eels from The Little Mermaid. I wish there was a bird that swooped down and smited them for their actions. Ugh, vomit induced coma.

    I also hate chex mix, because things should taste like they're supposed to taste, and not a little bit like a bunch of other things. C'mon guys, just let us eat some Chex (although I do like the lonely island song "dream girl").

  • http://www.SoEveryDay.com Lacey

    I hate that old show The Beverly Hillbillies and all shows that follow a similar, predictable, ridiculous plot pattern. I label those shows "Beverly Hillbilly". As in, "I can't watch any teenage copycat show on the Disney channel. Hannah Montana is so Beverly Hillbilly."

    I hate the Disney Channel. I believe my brain is being morphed into mush if I happen to even walk by a room when that channel is on.

    I would rather be forced to watch a Disney channel remake of the Beverly Hillbillies starring Miley Cyrus as Elly Mae Clampett than move my kids' car seats to our other car.

  • http://bryanallain.com bryan a

    “I would rather BANG MY HEAD AGAINST A HARD SURFACE 3 TIMES AND SHOVE A SCREWDRIVER INTO MY OWN BACK than move our kids’ car seats from one car to the other.”

    because moving car seats involves banging my head on the door frame at least 4 times and wrenching my back in a way that causes me to cuss uncontrollably.

    (thankfully my kids are now out of car seats)

  • nate

    hate root beer? wrong.

    have you ever had a delicious Sam Adams float? i bet you haven't, because that would be gross. root beer is awesome. there is no drink, not even coke, that tastes better poured over vanilla ice cream.

    you take that back, tyler stanton.

  • evdaddy

    I hate when I read one of the things I do on your hate lists. why don't you just save some time on your next post and just write "I hate what Ev does."

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/tylerstanton Tyler Stanton

      Ev- I had no idea you hated root beer.

      ………………..

      tyler stanton

  • http://breakingthrough.tumblr.com @JeremyKeegan

    I'd rather remove an aching wisdom tooth with an ice skate and a rock Castaway style than change car seats from car to car.

    Other things I hate include:
    - when my dog doesn't obey (considering it happens every day, you'd think I would have gotten used to it by now)
    - I think I've mentioned this before, but I HATE being behind someone driving really slow, especially when I'm in a hurry
    - Pulling up to a gas station, getting out, opening the gas tank door and THEN realizing that I have to pay before pumping, with cash. Who carries cash anymore? And how do I know how many gallons I need? I want to "fill it up"!
    - When I sit down on a weeknight to watch the season finale of my favorite show at its regularly scheduled time, only to find it's not on, because they already showed it, Sunday night.

  • http://ccstra54.blogspot.com/ Chuck

    Hmmm…

    These guys may have an issue with one of your choices:
    [youtube Y8aHVLMUViY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8aHVLMUViY youtube]

    See… 'cause they're "Root Beer", and you said…. oh, nevermind

  • http://alwaysfloss.blogspot.com Susan

    I hate moronic escalator behavior. http://alwaysfloss.blogspot.com/2010/06/escalator…

    You and Tyler should make a video about escalator etiquette.

  • http://alwaysfloss.blogspot.com Susan

    My previous comment should be, "You and Tripp should make a video about escalator etiquette." I'm going to go ahead and blame Monday for my mistake.

  • Jenna

    I would rather stay home with 4 whiny children than move the carseats to the other car.

  • http://rocksaltmedia.com Jen

    I hate touching cotton balls with the tips of my fingers nails. I also hate when people walk in front of me slowly and weave just enough to make it difficult to pass them without popping them in the back of the head first.

  • http://tymn.wordpress.com Tymn

    I would rather sit in a car seat, in the middle seat of a 5-speed early 90′s Nissan pickup with the shifter racking me everytime it’s put into 2nd/4th/Reverse, no A/C and the windows rolled up on an August mid-afternoon in Missouri, squeezed between two NFL sized offensive lineman, with the shoulder straps of the carseat cutting off all circulation in my arms, and my sack pinched in the buckle, driving down a gravel road filled with potholes.

  • http://www.EvanForester.com Evan

    I hate the Voice Mail re-instruction too! I've figured out that if the person has att you can press 1 and it will skip all the nonsense. But every once in a while I will press one and I am told by that annoying lady that 1 is not a valid option and blah blah blah. It is so disheartening.

    I also hate onions. Worse than fingernails on a chalkboard in my book.

  • http://www.blackdebutante.blogspot.com Black_Debutante

    I know this sounds horrible but I hate when parents think YOU are as interested in their kids as much as they are. I know you think they're precious. But to me they are just another cute kid.

  • Jenna

    Things I hate:

    1. Birds chirping at 3:30 a.m. (I could have just stopped with birds, but I don’t want people to think I’m an animal hating person, even though I probably am…)

    2. Trains that choo choo at 3:30 a.m.

    3. Getting up to shut window at 3:30 a.m. to keep those noises out

    4. Wisdom teeth – I know God is all-knowing, but seriously, wisdom teeth?? They just start hurting and then you have to take them out!

    Thing I love:

    Forming this list in my mind at 3:30 a.m. to try to get back to sleep!

  • Kunte Kente

    To skip the voicemail message and instructions when calling Verizon and AT&T users, press "4" (at least it works in the Atlanta area). For Sprint press "1". If none of those work, the # or * buttons are last options for smaller providers.

    Also for the peeve list:
    -when people crank up the bass in their car while in a parking lot
    -no good restaurants in lilburn
    -the name change for the Atlanta airport

    Oh, and I'm w/ Ev…I love Root Beer

  • Kristen

    Root Beer is amazing! I find this "hate" your strangest one for sure. Have your opinion, sure you do…but dude, root beer?
    Hates:
    -I hate when cereal gets soggy in milk. Can't eat it. Won't eat it. Cereal, meant to be crunchy
    -When someone forgets to replace the toilet paper or papertowels. I mean COME ON…there's no need, I don't care how much of a hurry you are in…take the 2 seconds and leave something for the next person. It just makes for awkward moments especially when you are in the bathroom.
    -walkers and joggers using the bike lane. It's for BIKES people. You don't like it when I'm on my bike on your sidewalk(it even includes the word for what it's for) so much that you made it illegal in many areas. Plus we already share that space with 3000 lb. cars and trucks, stay in your space.

  • Pingback: Love List « tylerstanton.com

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/BenofBenandJacq BenofBenandJacq

    I would rather dangle headfirst over the side of a speed-boat going about 55 and try and grab an apple with just my teeth off of a passing Jet Ski than to change car seats from one vehicle to another.

  • Eli

    Pulling a cell phone out of a jeans pocket while in a car. You have to do that weird convulsion so that you can reach in, and then you have to sort past the keys/jump drive/gum/etc. all while the phone threatens to go to voicemail.