There’s a lot of reckless movie quoting going on out there. I think it would be in everyone’s best interest if we all got on the same page and adhered to a unified set of standards. Thus, I present to you A Beginner’s Guide to Quoting Movies.

1. Watch your ratio.
I religiously adhere to a 40-to-1 non-movie-quote-to-movie-quote ratio, and I think you should too. This is to prevent us from becoming the guy at a party who views every pause in a conversation as an opportunity to show off his knowledge of the Dumb and Dumber script. As Mark Twain once said, “Movie quotes should pepper your conversation, not make your conversation taste like you’ve just sucked on a pepper tablet.”

2. Keep it relatively mainstream.
There’s nothing worse than being in a conversation with someone who starts quoting lines from deleted scenes of Big Mama’s House. Listen, Guy – no one has any clue what you’re talking about.

3. Use discretion with impersonations.
Unless you’re impersonation is spot on, just go with your normal voice. Otherwise, your robotic “Smokin!” will have the room wondering if your intent was to show us what Arnold Schwarzenegger quoting The Mask would sound like (in which case, you nailed it!).

4. Variety is key.
The last thing you want is to be labeled the “Napoleon Dynamite Guy”. Don’t get me wrong – it was a great movie. But not all contexts call for a socially awkward “Luck-eee!”

5. Get it right.
Quoting movies can be risky. It takes a certain vulnerability to put oneself out there and quote a movie. Don’t waste this moment by forgetting a word or trailing off at the end. While it is amusing to the rest of us to hear you butcher the Baby Jesus prayer from Talledega Nights, you’ll probably regret it.

6. Christopher Walken is sacred ground.
As a friend, I would advise you to stay away from this one. It takes a skilled and masterful impersonator to pull off something that even resembles Walken. So if that’s not you, show some respect and keep yours between you and your rearview mirror. If you can pull it off, I would suggest possibly making that your normal, everyday voice.

Any other movie quoting advice? I’m sure I missed some.