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I Already Know a Lot About You…

December 7th, 2010 - I Already Know a Lot About You - 40 Comments »

…if you have ever purposely kissed your pet on the mouth.

…if you spend more than $100 on sunglasses or headphones.

…if you didn’t like Toy Story 3.

…if you give me grilling tips while I’m grilling.

…if you insist you can decipher all the differences between types of flat screen TVs.

…if you do squats and you’re not in high school.

…if you participate in Facebook quizzes.

…if you’ve engaged in a heated argument about football conference strength in the last month.

…if you wear cosmetic glasses.

…if you can name more Jersey Shore cast members than U.S. Congressmen.

…if you tell me why I should invest in gold.

…if you’ve ever gone to a tanning bed for a “base tan”.

…if you have one or more Apple stickers on your car.

…if you still have one or more 2008 presidential campaign stickers on your car.

…if your favorite hour of television consists of Two and a Half Men and Mike and Molly.

…if you wear Vibram FiveFingers.

…if you’ve ever told me that decorating a Christmas tree is a pagan tradition.

…if you parent my child.

…if you’re shirtless or wearing a bathing suit in your Facebook profile picture.

…if you evangelize about canceling cable.

…if I smell like you after we hug.

Your turn. What else tells you a lot about a person?

And for more in the I Already Know a Lot About You series, click here.

*Guilty on more than one account.

  • Kyle Whitcroft

    …if you have a part of a man's anatomy hanging from your trailer hitch
    …if you wear your cell phone on your belt, in a holster.
    …if you keep fresh flowers in your VW bug's built in flower vase
    …if you wish me a happy birthday on facebook, even though we haven't talked in 10 years
    …if you stop instead of merging onto the interstate

  • …adam

    …if you say things like "BRB" out loud

    ….you pretend like your birthday (thats coming up next week) isnt a big deal, when you are constantly bringing up how not a big deal it is.

    …you enjoy arguing about how superior gmail is

    … if you didnt like Toy Story 3 (that one was so good that it needed to be repeated)

    …you have referred to one of your hats as your "justin timberlake" hat

    …you get excited about Starbucks using Christmas cups in early November

    ( i am sure there are more. so many more. sadly I am guilty of the Jersey Shore/Congressman one)

    • Tyler Stanton

      me too.as well as the red cups one………………..tyler stanton

  • http://guidetowomen.wordpress.com/ Sharideth Smith

    …if you have a purse for your dog
    …if you talk on your bluetooth in line at Starbucks
    …if you dress like Criss Angel
    …if you bring a PC to a Mac fight
    …if you still brag about your mastery of D&D
    …if you still play D&D

    • http://guidetowomen.wordpress.com/ Sharideth Smith

      wow, i got a thumbs down. must've been a PC user.

      • Tyler Stanton

        Or an avid D&D-ite. That is what they're called, right?

  • nate

    …if you're dressed hip while sitting at starbucks reading a classic novel you just started

    (btw, what I know about you is that you're a tool- i just wanted to be clear)

    • Tyler Stanton

      thank you nathan. i'm trying to decide if the classic novel one is also about me.

      • nate

        i've never known you to be a classic novel man. now, if i said "reading a harry potter book that you just started"- that would be directed at you.

  • Bryan

    …if you punch other guys in the arm really hard for no reason
    …if you wear an ace bandage wrap on your arm or leg just to get attention
    …if you wave to other drivers just because they're in the same vehicle as you
    …if you've sent food back at a restaurant more than twice this year
    …if your kid is still sleeping in your bed and old enough to read books to you.
    …if you joke about your wife hooking up with her girlfriends every single time we hang out, even though everyone else (including your wife) is pretty uncomfortable about it.

  • Bryan

    The post-high school squatter and Two and a Half Men watcher are brilliant. Not going to attempt to one-up either one.

    • Tyler Stanton

      thanks, but i'm pretty confident you could.

  • shawnsmucker

    …if you don't think twice about picking your nose and depositing the findings in a car that is not your own.***
    …if you drink from a public water fountain in the middle of the city
    …if you've used a pay phone in the last 5 years
    …if your cell phone ring tone is a Metallica song
    …if most of the movies you own are Red Box movies you never got around to returning.

    ***oops

  • darooda

    … if you tell me I wore the same shirt last week.
    … if you point out my receeding hair line with the intent of giving me advice.
    … if you give me pointers on how to perform squats.
    … if you use the word creatives.

    • Tyler Stanton

      I feel you on the receding hair line. Referring to them as your "power alleys" helps you feel a little better about it.

  • http://www.davepettengill.net DavePettengill

    …if your older than 18 and you are wearing Silly Bandz
    …if you lecture someone about how they shouldn't buy Silly Bandz but they should buy the Christian one's
    …if you are an adult and still wear looney toons clothes, shoes, ribbons, etc…
    …if you still yell doorknob after someone farts
    …if you always say, "It's not as good as the original" every time someone talks about a movie
    …if you lecture someone on how many fat grams their cheeseburger has
    …if you are constantly saying, "That's what she said"
    …if you can name the last 8 destinations from the Survivior t.v. show

  • marc

    … if you request cheese pizza
    … if you can see anything good in cats
    … if you prefer Moe's over Chipotle

    • Tyler Stanton

      Moe's FTW!

  • http://npeaks.tumblr.com/ Nic

    …if you spend more than $50 on sunglasses or headphones.

    …if you didn’t love Toy Story 3.

    …if you’ve engaged in a heated argument about (Pro) football conference strength in the last month.

    …if you can name more Jersey Shore cast members than U.S. Presidents.

    …if you have one or more Apple stickers on your car…signifying family members.

    …if your favorite hour of television consists of Survivor.

    …if you get a fake Christmas tree….now that's pagan.

    …if you’re shirtless or wearing a bathing suit in your Facebook profile picture. (pantless too)

    …if you've ever said, "have you heard that new Smashmouth song?"

    …if you've watched more than one episode of Oprah's final season…or just the fact that you know it's Oprah's final season.

    …if you don't use tumblr.

    • Tyler Stanton

      Bryan Allain has a fake tree. FYI.

      • http://npeaks.tumblr.com/ Nic

        Bryan Allain is a communist who hates freedom and evergreens.

  • http://naminganimals.blogspot.com Elizabeth

    …if you insist that writing "X-Mas" is "taking Christ out of Christmas"

  • http://Alifeaboutme.com Andrea

    … If you always post song lyrics as your status.

    … If you own an iPhone 4.

    … If you don’t own an iPhone 4 because you are waiting for the white one.

    … If you wear a mesh tank top and a cowboy hat to… well, really anywhere..

    I’m only guilty of one of these. And it’s not the mesh shirt one. That was a guy I saw at walmart.

  • Patty

    …if you walk your dog in a moo-moo
    …if you keep the 3 second rule during rush hour traffic in the fast lane
    …if you drink sweet tea like it's water
    …if you don't pick up your dog's poop in public places
    …if you buy non-food items (e.g. clothing) from Whole Foods

  • http://www.thebeautifulsurrender.com Kelly

    …if you have a bell on your bike handle bars.
    …if you have a stroller for your dog.
    …if you talk about how much you love Africa but have never actually been there.
    …if you play Farmville on Facebook.
    …if you sell Mona Vie.

    • Tyler Stanton

      Farmville! I almost wrote that one. Well done.

  • http://www.tylertarver.com Tyler Tarver

    …if you yell "yeah" or "what" in imitation of Li'l John.
    …if you swear Twilight is superior to Harry Potter.
    …if you're wearing a Metallica shirt.
    …if you say you used to watch SNL "when it was funny".
    …if you show me a popular internet video from 6 months ago.
    …if your Twitter account is verified but I've never heard of you.

    • Tyler Stanton

      wow. i almost put the same one about SNL.

  • Astrapto

    …if you not only reinforce stereotypes, but introduce more.

  • Andrew Gabrielsen

    …if you wear croakies.
    …if you've ever said "git er done!"
    …if you say "melk" instead of "milk".
    …if you think Dane Cook is funny.
    …if I have read your autobiography.
    …if someone says "hey now" and you burst out singing All star
    …if you have a mullet
    …if you buy off brand duct tape

  • Gina

    …if you make lists titled, "I already know a lot about you if…"
    …if not a single thing in this list, including all the above comments and original list applies to you

    • Tyler Stanton

      congrats! i didn't think it was possible.

  • LaceyKeigley

    ….. if you put rabbit ears over the heads of anyone near you in a photograph.
    ….. if you refer to yourself as "da' boss".
    ….. if you purchase Britney Spears perfume.

  • http://180tampa.com Jerry White

    ….if you can't tell what the list makers think about you because of what they know about you if any of the things on the list are or are not about you….

  • http://www.katiehardeman.blogspot.com Katie

    …if you refer to God as "Daddy" or "Papa" when praying aloud.
    …if you tell me I look tired.
    …if you "izzle" to the end of any word or use the expression "da bomb"
    …if you give me side hugs.
    …if you wear socks with flip flops.
    …if you take both arm rests in the movie theaters or on planes.

  • David Robertson

    …if you insist that bikers have the same rights to the road as cars.

  • JW

    ….if your pet has a name like: Michael, William, Pamela, Kimberly, Richard or some other unmistakenly human name

  • http://twitter.com/JaredHollier Jared Hollier

    -If you invite me to play Farmville.
    -If you forward me a religious email full of .gifs
    -If you use the word “noob.”

  • http://twitter.com/rodneyeason Rodney Eason

    …if during the middle of an intense conversation, you rake the remains of your lunch out of your teeth with your fingers.
    …if your aversion to bullet points is so intense that you resort to ellipsis and plus signs.

  • Deanna_cozart

    - If you breastfeed in public, particularly if the child says thank you at the end
    - If you start sentences with, “The other day on NPR . . . ” or the converse, “I just saw on Fox News. . .”