A Quick Checklist for Living a Simpler Life

June 22nd, 2011 - Guest Post - 30 Comments »

This is a guest post from my friend Sam Davidson. Yeah, that Sam Davidson. He’s written here before, and today he takes a look at a few things no one should have more than one of. Make sure to comment for a chance to win his new book, Simplify Your Life.
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No one says it, but really, when you ask most people how they’re doing, if they were honest, they’d tell you, “Stressed. Overworked. Out of whack. Lost. Confused. Catching up. Stupid busy. Hectic. In need of a solution to my super-complicated life.”

Enter the answer to everyone’s problems.

To write my newest book, Simplify Your Life, I spent the better part of last year thinking about organization, multi-tasking, clutter, stress, and work/life balance. You know, stuff that you wish you had time to think about but you don’t, so you’ll happily shell out $14.95 to let me tell you how to make this all happen (Bonus: If you include my previous book, 50 Things Your Life Doesn’t Need to your order, you only need to add this oil spout to get free shipping).

The other reason you should own Simplify Your Life: Tyler Stanton’s endorsement on Page 2. It’s only the second time the name of his book has appeared in print, and if you visit his boyhood home, you’ll find this page framed next to his perfect attendance certificate from VBS and a photo of him on a family vacation to Colonial Williamsburg. What can I say? His parents are proud.

Of me, that is.

On to more pressing matters. For those of you who don’t even have time to read the rest of my book – and thus are all the more in need of reminders about keeping things simple – I offer the following list. Follow this handy checklist and you’re at least one step closer to simplifying your life:

Things no one should have more than one of:

  • Wife/husband (unless you’re Mormon or famous)
  • iPad
  • Nose (does not apply to Bryan Allain)
  • Appearances on reality TV
  • Earring (if you’re a guy)
  • Nose ring (if you’re a human)
  • Maid
  • Unidentified growth (more than one mandates a doctor visit)
  • Panic room
  • Nobel prize (any more and you’re just showing off)
  • Weird uncle
  • Mustache
  • Oil spout
  • Stories per conversation about things you think are awesome but I don’t (namely: horsepower, movies about vampires, partisan politics, weight loss fruit shakes, or underground mix tapes)
  • Copies of Everyday Absurdities (exception: uneven coffee tables that require more than 100 pages to make level)
  • Baby daddy
  • Elevator in your guest house.

 

Make sure your life only has one each of the above list and you’re on your way to an easier existence.

Got your own ideas about a simpler lifestyle? Weigh in –

What else do you think people only need one of?

I’ll pick a winner at random to win a copy of Sam’s book AND a copy of my book. Or, if you prefer, just a copy of Sam’s book. I’ll announce the winner tomorrow.

  • Ashley

    No one needs more than one Facebook account. Why do musicians do this?! One for fans and one for friends is stupid.

    No one needs more than one tattoo of a cross. Anymore than that and I’ll know you’ve spent some time in the pin.

    No one needs more than one pair of socks. It’s true. Just switch to Toms and the world will be happier.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jeremytstephens Jeremy Stephens

    The top three things that come to mind are (in no particular order):
    -Ironic trucker hat (actual truckers do not apply)
    -Djembe (worship leader or not)
    -Set of kitschy salt and pepper shakers

    • http://samdavidson.net Sam Davidson

      Djembe.

      Fantastic. Agreed.

  • http://clintmillercreative.com clintm

    More than one cat is 500 cats too many. Simplify the amount of cats you own and your life will improve drastically. No cats = pure, unadulterated joy.

  • Andrea

    Swimming pool.
    Set of dentures.
    Tattoo above the neck.

    How would a person even have more than one mustache? Would he grow two very skinny ones above his lip? I’m curious as to how that would work…

  • Rick

    More than one ukelele song on your ipod is too many. There is no need to buy an entire album of Eddie Vedder's Ukelele Songs.

    • john

      agreed! i made that purchase last week thinking, it would be a no brainer. i should have listend to the preview on itunes. i love eddie v, but am dissapointed with the album.

  • http://www.knoxmccoy.com Knox McCoy

    I fell off my chair when I read that Allain burn.

    - More than one PT Cruiser with a flame job.

    • nateaton

      um, my mom has a PT Cruiser with a flame job, so you're preaching to the choir Knox muh boy.

  • nateaton

    I'm fairly certain that you only need one Penny Farthing in your life. More than that and you might as well combine them into one awesome, hipster 4×4.

    Come to think of it, I might need to try this idea out. Be right back. I'm about to go invent a hybrid between a "Bro" truck and a hipster. It'll either be a Hip Truck or a Broster. Still in development. Have to simplify it more.

  • http://bryanallain.com bryan a

    If I ever become a serial killer I will cut off the noses of all my victims. McCoy, you'll be first. Davidson, you're second.

    • http://www.knoxmccoy.com Knox McCoy

      I fell off my chair because it was so violently random. It was like watching Free Willy jump out of the ocean.

  • bradshimomura

    No one needs more than one bowl of ice cream a day, wait not scratch that! How about: no one needs more than more than one doctor. No, that's not true. No one needs more than one blog subscription. Hmm, lets try no one needs more than one name. Oh, I give up!!!

    Wait, no one needs more than one… I'm done.

  • http://www.thecjadams.com CJ Adams

    You probably don't need more than one American Flag Speedo. I have two, though….does anyone want my spare?

    • Tyler Stanton

      Dibs.

      • nateaton

        too late. Will Ferrel already claimed and wore it.

  • http://kelseyhill.blogspot.com Kelsey

    Birthday… except for when it comes to "birthday clubs" with free stuff.

  • http://robshep.com Rob Shepherd

    How bout more than one twitter account?

  • http://theadventuresofgabriella.blogspot.com/ gabriellaheidi

    facebook profile pic per month.

  • allisonlh

    pair of Vibram Fivefingers shoes. Color-coordinating your outfit with your Vibrams makes me question your priorities.

  • Mike Cooper

    cotton golf polo shirt, they just don’t feel the same after trying the moisture wicking fabrics.

  • michealcooper

    cotton golf polo, they don't feel the same once you wear the moisture wicking fabrics
    (sorry if it double posts)

  • zerpal

    huge recliner
    unicycle
    cappuccino machine
    set of triplets
    oldies station
    country station
    pack of altoids
    oprah winfrey
    napoleon dynamite dvd

  • http://180tampa.com Jerry White

    guys:more than one ringtone.
    girls: more than one best friend.

  • http://laurelkate.com laurelkate

    hug goodbye.

  • http://twitter.com/sadlierka @sadlierka

    one life – unless you are a cat then you get 7 more

  • iwokeupyesterday

    you don't need more than one 26.2 sticker on your car. even if you run more than one marathon. it looks very intimidating if you put all those stickers on for each and every achievement.

  • iwokeupyesterday

    one toilet flooding per day is enough. we just had one episode, after one of our child's deposits, but it required 15 towels to clean it up. you don't ever want to do that more than once in a day.

  • iwokeupyesterday

    OKAY I REALLY WANT TO WIN THE BOOK
    you only need one swimming pool.
    you only need one set of 6 year old twins. more than one set of those might send you over the edge. or maybe that's just me.
    you only need one blog. unless you are TYLER STANTON, and then you need more, because you are so overwhelmed with wisdom, humor, blissfully pleasure filled words.
    ps. we follow your blog on our blog page – that is how much we like you.

    again.
    pss. i really want the book. my 14 year old is helping me make up all these answers

  • iwokeupyesterday

    only one rash at a time.
    only one talkative, extremely intense, dramatic, 13 yr old daughter at a time
    only one auto insurance policy at a time
    only one political bumper sticker at a time
    only one reality show at a time