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New Putt Putt Rules

July 19th, 2011 - Uncategorized - 36 Comments »

I’m going to be down in Panama City/Destin for the next two weeks hosting some events and vacationing with my family, so blog posts may be few and far between during that time. Not saying they won’t happen, but they’ll definitely be less frequent. But for now…

First off, read Tripp’s post from yesterday. We’re planning an epic putt-putt battle, with dreadful consequences for the loser.

Second off, leave a comment over there with what you think would be the worst possible consequence.

Third off, we’re trying to establish a list of rules for our competition. We’ve already got the basics down, but we need some ludicrous ones to sprinkle in there to make it interesting (read 20 Ways to Make Sports More Exciting for inspiration). For instance:

+ Must play prime number holes left-handed
+ Must play entire round in collared shirt, pleated khakis, and golf spikes
+ Two-stroke penalty for using the phrase “Hit it Alice”
+ Only bank shots on hole 12
+ Mandatory billiard-style putting (with the handle end of the putter) for putts within a foot

Things like that.

Your turn. What are some rules we should implement in our putt putt death match?

  • David Chandley

    The loser of the first hole has to endure a constant "You da man" comment in a loud Yankee accent during the backswing of every shot on hole 2.

  • http://teamdutton.com brad

    hole 9 must be played "croquet" style with the nose of the putter striking the ball while the 'golfer' strattles the ball.

  • http://iamjakz.wordpress.com Jakz

    On a hole with a water hazard nearby, arm floaties/water wings must be worn.

  • mattguastamacchio

    "Mandatory billiard-style putting". yup.

  • http://thegboat.net/ The Joseph Craven

    At the beginning of each hole, you must yell "GET IN THE HOLE" when the other person takes their first shot. Otherwise, you face a penalty.

    • http://thegboat.net/ The Joseph Craven

      Check that, you have to yell "GET IN THE HOLE" at all times. Just constantly. No matter what is going on. It'll be just like watching a professional event.

  • ragamuffinway

    If the ball bounces out of the parameters of the hole, or rolls back to the putting square, the person putting has to drop his/her pants to half-mast for the very next putt. But only if the afore mentioned infractions happen on the tee shot. (we call it hitting past the girls tee, if you can't make it that far then you have to drop trou for the next shot.)

  • http://www.knoxmccoy.com Knox McCoy

    Maybe adopt a "Name that Score" format?

    Each party projects how many shots they'll need to sink their putt (I can sink my putt in 2 shots, Tyler. I can sink my putt in one shot, Knox. SINK THAT PUTT, TYLER). Lowest projection goes first.

    If they meet their projection, they win the point. If they do it in one less shot, they get an extra point. If they miss their projection, the other party goes and if they hit by their projection they get the point or if they go lower, they get two points.

    Also, you have to follow the verbal format prior to playing every hole and you must do it loudly. It's a must.

    • http://thegboat.net/ The Joseph Craven

      I couldn't do this very well. I'd be too realistic with it. "I can sink my putt in 6 shots, but fair warning, my third shot will probably bounce off the green and I'll have to go grab it and then we'll probably discuss a proper place for me to place it along with whether or not I get a one stroke penalty for it but then AFTER all of that it'll still take me a couple of shots and then I'll get it in 6."

  • http://www.joerob.com Joseph

    You each need a caddie. And you should both start each hole by examining the layout, then holding out your hand to the caddie and saying, "I think I'll take the putter on this one." +2 stroke penalty if you don't.

    • nateaton

      I agree with Joe on this one. It's always better to get more people involved in a game of Putt-Putt. And they must have roles to play.

  • nateaton

    In the event of a "Hole in One," the putter responsible must be carried to the next hole by the putter with the lowest score on that particular hole. In the unlikely events that all putters score "Hole in One"s on the exact same hole, they must all carry each other. Due the physical, metaphysical, and emotional inability for each person to carry each other, a 45 second hockey fight will also suffice.

  • bradshimomura

    Happy Gilmore style is a must. One stroke penalty on any hole that does not reflect some aspect of the movie.

  • http://justsayray.wordpress.com/ Russ Ray

    Please tell me that a match of this magnitude is going to be televised.

    My rule would be that the loser of any hole prior to a hole that involves a windmill, a castle, the Eiffel Tower or any other form of European architecture, that participant must yodel for the entirety of the hole.

  • http://www.adaupdates.blogspot.com Scott Moore

    I don't have any rules yet, but I wanted to say that this epic battle must be captured on film.

    • Tyler Stanton

      It will be son. It will be.

  • Brett

    If you don’t catch the ball before it goes into the “neve-to-return” 18th hole so that you can throw the ball into the dyed blue “water hazards”…then you automatically lose the round.

  • nate

    you need to make a "quiet please" sign to hold up when one of you is teeing off. i understand that i haven't really suggested a rule here, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do this.

  • http://www.jesusneversaid.com @Jesusneversaid

    Any player can “tag in” a player or spectator from the course to make one shot for them.
    If a player chooses to use a mulligan they must approach another player or spectator in the area, point their putter at them and say “Hello, my name is Enigo Montoya, you killed my father prepare to die”.
    If a player goes past 5 shots on any hole, they are required to loudly repeat the phrase or sound of choice of the opposing player the same number of times they went over.

  • http://www.joerob.com Joseph

    You should both wear traditional 20s-era golf attire.

  • http://www.adambuzard.com …adam

    First off, country club attire is a must. pressed khakis, polo, and visor. -2 strokes if you can get a sponsor. -1 extra stroke depending on the hilarity of that sponsor (ie: a local fried chicken place)

    A Gentleman’s Accord: to see who goes first. you get to play the first hole twice. The first time is with both of you shaking hands the entire time. If someone breaks the handshake, they automatically lose. then the match can begin.

    The Don Quiote: any windmill hole must be played Don Quiote style: Crazily. So you take a shot of tequila, and then your caddy must pretend to be a horse for the duration of the hole.

    The Tea Cup: anytime you hit a ball out of bounds, you must sing I’m a Little Tea Cup complete with motions.

  • allisonlh

    Kilts and Braveheart face-paint must be worn. Whenever finishing a hole under-par, you must scream "FREEDOM!" at the top of your lungs while someone else plays the bagpipes. When other putt-putters question this, respond with, "We're taking putt-putt back to its roots, laddie/lassie!"

  • Sarah

    Hole 6 must be done entirely in “granny style”: standing backwards, club between the legs. The loser of said hole must hand feed the winner the fruit of the winner’s choice. Preferably…prunes.
    Hole 15 must be done while holding the club upside-down. With the handle hitting the ball and players holding the mallet part.
    During Hole 3 your opponent is allowed to make the “hey you wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world” noise from Dumb and Dumber everytime you putt.

  • Joe

    Speed golf. Score does not matter but you must complete the hole to move to the next. more than one person may hit at any time and croquet rules apply when a player hits another's ball, thus a hit ball is allowed to be sent flying. To keep it interesting there is a task that must be completed after each hole. Tasks could be anything from do the worm to the next hole to MINUTE to WIN IT style challenges, but must be completed before advancing to next hole. Winner is the first to complete all eighteen holes.

  • http://brynnloves.wordpress.com Brynn

    Must begin and end every sentence you say with "putt putt"
    I.e. "Putt putt I think it's your turn putt putt".

    • http://www.thedailyretort.com tor constantino

      genius

      • thescreamingkettle

        Love this one.

  • Tyler

    Upon making a hole-in-one, the player must immediately drop to their knees, arms to the sky and yell “POR QUEEEE”, if they do not, the shot is void.

    Upon sinking a putt with an even number amount of points, the player must spin and sheath his putter like a sword, then look around with a s___ eating grin like he invented that move.

    On the tenth hole, players must go barefoot and continue barefoot until try shoot a 5 or higher on a hole.

    Whoever loses hole 13 must present their club like a rifle and start making shooting noises at the nearest family with children until they notice them.

    If a person wins 2 holes in a row, they must get in their opponent’s face and scream “I’M WILL SMITH MUCHACHO!” and repeat on every consecutive hole until he loses a hole.

  • Jody Powell

    Hole 8- Every player must be the ball and do the Nanananananana sound from Caddyshack.

  • Jake

    All right, how about this rule: the call your shot rule, if you can successfully call out exactly (and I mean exactly) what the ball will do from the first shot out of the tee box and the ball makes it to within a club length of the hole, you get a hole in one.

    Bonus: if you make the shot you go down a stroke.

  • http://evanforester.com Evan

    During one of the holes, the putter's opponent must lay across the green to create a human speed bump. The putter must attempt to put under, over, or around the opponent. Naturally, no face shots.

  • James

    In the event of a player hitting a "Hole in One" shot, they are allowed to Ride the Pony in a victory lap around the hole. If both players hit a hole in one, they must race in a ride the pony-off and the person who finishes first is the one who gets to putt first on the next hole.

  • http://www.thedailyretort.com tor constantino

    Both players guzzle a bottle of beverage before each hole – the first player who can't hold their water has to "play through" the party in front AND loses the remaining holes. No catheter bags allowed on the course.

  • Maureen

    I think each time a ball is hit out of bounds, the hitter should preform a motivational juggling routine. Maybe a bull horn should also be provided for this feat.

  • jamie

    PLEASE please post a recap of each hole played in the golf announcer tone!

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