Oh well. Chad, you’re up.
___

Mini-bar in Your Pants Guy
There has to be a finite amount of Jack Daniels minis you can fit into one pair of cargo pants, but the guy next to you has been pulling them out of his pockets for three quarters and has yet to reach the bottom. This is the same guy who will spill his drink on his shaker, forget the shaker is soaked in a mix of bourbon and Coke, and proceed to bathe everyone around him the next time his team scores. He is also likely to be arrested for assaulting the mascot.

The Back-up Quarterback’s Biggest Fan Guy
The starter just threw an interception. So what, it happens to the best of them. This is no time to stand up and demand the coaches put in the true freshmen that was playing high school ball this time last year. In 2004 the man next to me demanded Jason Campbell be pulled after a slow start against Louisiana Monroe. Campbell only went on to win the SEC Player of the Year and lead Auburn to an undefeated season. But hey, maybe Campbell’s backup could have done better, moron.

Bring Your Infant to the Game Guy
Look, I know you want your newborn son or daughter to grow up cheering for your favorite team, but bringing a six-week old to a sweltering September game isn’t going to help, particularly after my wife calls DHR. And if you tell me you cannot afford both season tickets and a baby sitter, I’m going to suggest that you actually cannot afford either, then hand you a Dave Ramsey book.

Beat the Traffic Guy
There are sixty seconds left to play, your team trails by six, and they have seventy yards to go to tie the game. Inexplicably, people will begin to stand up and leave the stadium, in hopes of beating traffic out of the parking lot. What could possibly be going on at these people’s homes that they can’t wait to get back there? And if it is more exciting than the final minute of a college football game, why did they ever leave home to begin with?

Which fan did I miss? OR…

What is your favorite college football team?

I’ll pick 5 winners at random in the comments to win a copy of my book, God and Football: Faith and Fanaticism in the SEC.

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

How incredible was the PGA Championship this weekend? I could not believe the way it ended.

I got to go all day Friday and Saturday with my dad and brother. We watched a lot of golf, and a lot of people watching golf. Now, I’m no golf tournament expert, but after logging 15+ hours on the course, my brother and I were able to identify some people you should avoid being at all costs.

“Get in the Hole!” Guy – There’s only one person who is amused when someone yells “get in the hole!” right after ball contact – the guy who said it. Everyone else wants to punch him in the throat, ensuring vocal paralysis for the rest of the tournament.

Adult Autograph Getter – I witnessed a 40-something male pushing children out of the way to get Rickie Fowler (age 22) to autograph a hat. And while we’re on the subject, why do we care so much about a person’s signature?

Spikes Guy – Wearing your golf spikes to a tournament might be the equivalent of bringing your glove to a baseball game. Can I get a ruling on this?

Headed to the Gym Guy – I’m pretty sure I was dressed worse than 90% of the attendees out there, but compared to this guy, I was prom-ready. Look guy, we know it’s hot, but mesh shorts and sleeveless Under Armour shirt? Are you just taking a shortcut through the Atlanta Athletic Club on the way to spin class?

Headed to a Wedding Lady – Stilettos? Really? Poor husband.

Unique Yeller – You know this guy. He tries to yell something unique to the golfers as they pass by in hopes that they turn around, high five him, and invite him over for cigars. If Jason Dufner was walking by, a normal person would most likely yell “War Eagle”. The proud UY, however, shouts out a specific Auburn landmark…something to the effect of “Yeah Mama Goldberg’s”. If Dufner cracks a smile, the UY will brag about it for generations.

Who did I miss? 

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Church and Sports. Two great things. Two of the three institutions of the South. (Cracker Barrel being the third, naturally.)

It doesn’t get any better than exercising and competing with your brothers and sisters in Christ. Not.

By and large, playing sports within church leagues sucks harder than Hangover 2 did at being original. Part of this is because most leagues aren’t even comprised by actually congregants. Ringers and veritable Hessians populate the most important positions on all teams and it will always leave you wondering why you’ve never seen the seven footer who dunks and smells like sex and cigarettes in Sunday School.

But there’s a more scientific reason as to why it sucks. Let’s get all empirical and measure the data. CLIPBOARD TO THE READY!

1. You have perennially underachieving people who never made the cut in high school. This means every athletic event is a referendum on their athletic skills. THUS, they treat it like MJ did when he was playing the martians in Space Jam. Combine that with…

2. You have naturally competitive former athletes, which is the equivalent of having a flamethrowing clinic and exhibition in the parking lot of a gas station.

Listen: I’m a competitive guy who played football and baseball in high school. One time, I spiked a guy so hard sliding into second that he almost bled out and I had trash thrown at me as a result. (Did you need to know that the people throwing trash at me were from Texas? Probably not.)

But I’ve totally mellowed now. I haven’t gotten into a fight over Trivial Pursuit in something like 18 months, so yeah. But if some 55 year-old starts talking trash to me because I flew out to deep left field, I can only dam up the swirling waters of my competitive fury for so long before hell is unleashed. Because invariably, if you tease the tiger, kitty is gonna scratch. To this, mix in a…

3. You have the pretense of brotherly love, God and all that. This makes the competition restrained enough so there are no fisticuffs, but vague enough that the smoldering fury of proving one’s athletic birthright still burns bright like a reservoir of magma underneath a thin layer of saran wrap.

Pour these elements into your beakers of understanding and you can see how it can be more explosive than one of those The Bachelorette: Women Tell All episodes.

But let’s look at the individual components fueling this furnace fire of hypercompetitivity:

The Trash Talker
They are the cockroaches of organized sports. They can never be fully exterminated from your league and they always spoil the fun. Fella, you’re talking trash during a church league sport. You know who can talk trash? Kobe Bryant, because he’s awesome and it’s the NBA. But when you’re holding your hand in the air 12 seconds after a free throw that you called “Bank!” on goes in, you’re officially the human equivalent of herpes.

The Overly-Appareled
One wristband: No problem.
Three wristbands?: I’m concerned.
Eye Black?: You realize this is slow pitch, right?
A banana cup that you could serve punch from at a prom for a 5A high school?: You play rightfield, Hank Aaron. I don’t think your secrets are in any great peril.

Athlete Prodigies
These people are the gifts from God who conventional athletic standards and practices don’t apply to.

The Cannon-Arm
Hit the cutoff man? Sha right. Watch me uncork this rainbow from Centerfield that bounces 47 times on it’s way home.

The Gunner
Ball movement? Ok, yeah. Watch me movement the ball from my hand to Swishytown except that I call bank, except that I airballed. No matter, I’ll just make it rain next time down the court – and every other time after.

The Otis Nixon
Stop sign? More like “Stop Running So Fast Sign.” I’m thinking Triple, bro. And yeah, sure it was a routine single to Left Field but Usain Bolt doesn’t even know speed like… – (Interrupted by the sound of him being tagged out halfway between 1st and 2nd).

Any Church League “athletes” I missed?

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Don’t Be That Guy: Baby Name Edition

I have a fairly unique name. When I was born, my pediatrician remarked that my name sounded like a future University of Georgia quarterback. He was only off by a trillion percent.

As with anything else, there is both good and bad to having a distinct name. Good: it tends to stick with people and is a good conversation starter. Bad: Some of these conversations are stupid.

My name is kind of a double whammy. Living in close proximity to Knoxville, TN and having a last name as McCoy, people feel compelled to try to make jokes about it.

“Knox, huh? Were you born in Knoxville?”

DURR DURR, yep I sure was. My parents are so hopelessly bland that I just got the name of the city I was born in. So glad I wasn’t born in Possumneck, Mississippi. PHEW.

“McCoy, huh? Are you the Real McCoy?”

“HOLY CRAP. I have NEVER heard that joke before. Are you some kind of comedy savant? Like a funnier version of Rain Man? I mean I knew about the saying about “The Real McCoy” and I was somewhat aware of my last name being McCoy, but no one has EVER thought to combine those two elements and jestingly quiz me about it. I want to write that down.” There’s a lady at Cracker Barrel who says this to me EVERY time she runs my debit card. Next time it happens, I’m going to flip over the candy table like Jesus did with the Money Changers.

Names are of particular interest to the wife and I these days as we recently found out that she is pregnant with our second child. So naturally, we’re constantly detectivizing life for good names. This is an exciting time for us.

But this joy parade is rained on by those who inquire about our short list. In my experience, when you toss out your name prospects to other people, there is a 0.000001% chance of getting an answer that doesn’t leave you self-conscious.

Below, lets look at the four types of people you encounter when discussing baby names:

1. The Overly-Enthusiastic.
Calm down. CALM DOWN. I told you a name we’re considering, not the location of the next Double Rainbow. It’s a name. I’m not expecting you to vomit out of happiness and fulfillment. A high five or exploding fist is sufficient.

2. The Overly Judgmental
They get a look on their face like they just accidentally ingested potpourri but they maintain a facade of acceptance.

Me: We’re considering, (Generic Name).
Them: “That’s…umm…interesting.”

No, you know what’s interesting? How you think I need your approval.

3. The Overly Self-Obsessed
These people tell you a story from their childhood to sully your opinion of the name.

Me: We’re considering, (Generic Name).
Them: Didn’t you know that in 2nd grade, a boy named (Generic Name) hocked a loogie on me and it was so sublimely hocked that all my classmates gave it a proper name and taunted me about it through high school?
Me: What were we thinking?
Them: Yes. What WERE you thinking?

4. The Overly Satirical
These people live in a world where schools are filled with only the most cruel and deviant children and so, they predict how your fetus will be ridiculed on the playground because of your name choice by rhyming it until they can associate it with something foul, explicit or erotic. Sometimes, it’s all three.

So next time someone tells you a name they’re considering for their child, just smile and say you love it.

Did I miss any types? OR, do you have any name suggestions for the wife and I?
___

Knox McCoy has made a career out of synergizing backward overflow. When not writing on his blog, he enjoys freelance rodeo clowning and Sbarro pizza. He has memorized the President’s speech from Independence Day and is currently turning that into a one-man mime act. He loves popcorn, his wife and son, dogs, and all Boston sports teams. Connect with him on twitter here.

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

I’m gonna try to keep this short like my list of people I can beat in basketball. A few weeks ago, Dr. Stanton posted up* some advice I had to students on how not to be That Guy. Now, after inappropriately badgering him about doing another one, we’re turning the tables on the teachers (aka Lazy Susaning).

Don’t Be That Teacher

The Momma Bear
In high school, did you like your overprotective, over-involved mom getting into your business and hugging and caring and understanding your feelings? Do you want another one for school? No, me neither. I haven’t even talked to my real mom since she said I couldn’t date Dominique Moceanu back in ’96. These colors don’t run. Back off cuddly dark curly-haired lady with disproportionally fitting clothing that greatly resembles Kristi Alley, unless of course you’re my teacher and you wanna juice up my grade. Then hand me a bottle and I’ll be the Lou Bega to your Mambo #5.**

The Nazi
I was going to call this one The H****r, but I don’t cuss. This is the teacher that can turn a group of students from Tom Hanks in Big to Tom Hanks in Catch Me if you Can faster than you can say Cast Away. Their class may be quiet and orderly, but it’s more boring than a Ben Stein PBS telethon. You think 10 years from now those students will remember how to solve a linear regression model by elimination? No, they’ll remember you’re a tool.

The BFF
Commonly found in younger teachers and perpetual not-by-choice bachelor(ettes). This teaching ball of irritation has the classroom management of that teacher who lasted 4 minutes on that one episode of Hey, Arnold! These teachers can be spotted because:

a)  They never get on to any students for fear of being disliked;
b)  Their room sounds like Jumanji;
c)  They usually end up on Dateline NBC.

The Cheerleader
This is the teacher that’s way too into their subject matter. Chill out, you’re not rooting on LeBron James, you’re talking about electron clouds. Take a deep breath…now hold it until you stop yelling across my hallway. Your subject is boring, my subject is boring, I should’ve been a pharmacist.

Thanks again Mr. Stanton, sorry for almost saying Hitler.

Are there any other teacher types I forgot and/or got any good teacher stories?

* See what I did there? A smoother transition than when they switched Ross’s Ex-Wife on Friends.
** That one kinda spiraled out of control. Gotta gotta get my head in the game.

Click here for more Tarver. You won’t regret it.
Oh, and click here to read his first guest post, DBTG: Student Edition.

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

You’re probably here because you saw “New blog post…” on Twitter. Everyone’s online, The Social Network has a 97% Fresh rating, and facebook is all over the news. Amid all the talk of cyber-bullies and security, the real danger of social networking is missed. What danger?

The danger of being that guy. You know, the guy I remove from my news feed because you have joined (and invited me to) every single cause, group, and event? Whose status updates are so long I have to scroll down the page?
In my extensive research (stalking), I am putting this out to you, my peers. Please, let’s police ourselves. Don’t make me poke you.

The MySpacer
I bet your profile picture is you with your shirt off standing in front of the bathroom mirror.
If your band Recycled Snakeskin hasn’t been “discovered” yet, it never will.
I already know everything I need to know about you, and you’re never allowed near my kids.
MySpace? Still? Really?

The Profound Guy
There really should be a “Please Retweet This” button. You’re just praying that your latest ambiguous post, The oak tree withstands the war trumpet of man, will inspire someone (preferably famous.)
With any luck, they’ll retweet, then write a book or song about it and put you in the acknowledgements.*

The Self-Friend
When you post a picture or video or link, you are NOT allowed to be the first one to comment on it. Ever.**

The Vanity Post-er
“Geez, one thing they don’t tell you about owning a Mercedes is how long it takes to get it properly waxed. #luxuryfail ”
This is the online version of a vanity license plate on the back of your Mitsubishi Montero. I know you’re rich, cool, and attractive, but I don’t really care that your shirts don’t fit anymore since you started working out again. #creatineshake

What have I missed? Are you guilty?

* Chances are, you’re quoting someone else already.
** Also unacceptable: “Like”-ing your own stuff. You posted it because you like it. I don’t need more proof.

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

In the educational field, a lot of times you end up teaching students. Exactly four score minus 78 years ago, I gave a speech to my 7th period class entitled Don’t Be That Guy (emphasis on the that guy). It was for the benefit of one particular student of mine, who is like the Captain Planet of qualifications for the That Guy of the Year Award (last year’s winner: Edward Cullen). This was a time before I had any knowledge of this site, it’s corresponding DBTG videos, or Snooki. Now, here I am, sharing it with you like germs at a preschool. Some call it destiny, I call it destiny.

The Grab a Seat Comedian
If you glanced at the back of my Upper Deck MLT* trading card, my stats for saying Okay everyone, grab a seat, ranks up there with the amount of times Kanye West tweets grammatical errors. Worse than me saying it, worse than bobbing for 8-tracks in olive oil, worse than an grown woman getting a Twilight tattoo, worse than a drawn out sentence, is when a student literally grabs their desk and picks. it. up. All the while staring at me like I’m supposed to think him directly disobeying me and performing a joke I have not laughed/smiled at the last 8 times he’s done it or the last 76 times it has been done in my class is funny. Oh haha, hehe, lol, ssamylfasdbicypattystbwtagasahtotwwsotp.**

The You Missed Kid
Thanks, because when I tossed that dried up marker across the room and watched it bank off the side of the trash can onto the floor with my eyes was not proof enough for me. I was waiting for Robert Stack to come out and let us know in his haunting voice that The Case of the Tossed Marker might never be solved. But you stated so eloquently what over half the class and myself already knew, and for that, I’m going to let you know every time you fail a test that you’re probably going to work at a (insert mediocre profession that I might say in class and then inevitably someone tells me that their mom/dad/uncle Rico works there and I have to say it’s a good job for a 43 year old even though it’s not) for the rest of your life.***

The Puberty moves Faster than Personal Hygiene Etiquette Kid
A ratio is a comparison of two factors. For instance, in a class of 28 Ninth graders, there are at least 4 that have not been formally introduced to deodorant. That’s what we in the math business call a 1:7 ratio, aka A Soul Choker. How might you spot one of these kids? Three easy tips:

1) He just left P.E. where they did double line drills on the planet Sun.
2) He was wearing all-black, jeans, and is a certifiable Level 5 sweater.
3) He smells like a route 44 blend of raw milk, musty locker juice, and old man diarrhea was generously poured over his entire body.

The Cool because I didn’t do any of my Work Kid
Yes, yes, I am entertained and impressed that you came to class unprepared and woefully behind academically. Good call bragging about it too, cause I heard chicks really dig stupid guys. Actually, from my experiences in high school, being able to recite the Quadratic Formula never got me a lot of dates. Maybe it is cool to act dumb, but it’s not real helpful in getting a good job, which makes a lot of money, which I know for a fact girls like. I’m just kidding girls, you like guys with a personality, and rims, and money.****

I’ve got around 13 more, but Professor Stanton asked me to keep it under 400 words, and right now I’m sitting at 641. 642. Crap. 644.

I really do enjoy teaching most of the time.

Thanks Tyler, I hope this didn’t suck.

* Major League Teaching. It’s not one of the most popular selling sports cards, but it does come with a free stick of gum that you have to spit out before you enter the room.

** Stop smiling at me you little fart and sit down before I call your parents and tell them you said the b-word to a girl and smeared a human turd on the wall while spitting on the principal.

*** Sorry for the complication of that sentence. I’m a little nervous and I tend to ramble and veer off on tangents when I’m nervous. I also just really enjoy excuses to use asterisks. *****

**** This was completely a joke. Girls are cool, they’re one of the top 2 genders ever.

***** Those are asterisks.

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

I’ve been doing some extensive research the past couple of weeks on sports fans. I’ve been to a Braves game. I’ve scoured Twitter and Facebook. I’ve eavesdropped on numerous conversations. And I’ve realized this: there are a few types of fans that no one wants you to be. And by “you”, I mean “me”. It should be noted, before the ranting begins, that I am guilty of many of the undesirable characteristics I’m about to rail on.

The Perfect Teamer
His team has never done wrong. Every penalty, bad play, and even loss can and will somehow be blamed on poor officiating. I’ve found that there is a direct correlation between how diehard a fan is and how un-objective he is when things don’t go his team’s way. They make it hard to be around themselves.

The Fair Weatherer
Soap box alert: Atlanta experienced a lot of this with Brooks Conrad this past week. The guy was a freaking hero coming into the playoffs. Game-winning grand slams. Clutch hit after clutch hit to help us win the wild card. Then he makes some key errors* and Atlanta is ready to burn his jersey in the streets, Lebron-style.

The Wave Starter
I’ve talked about this guy before, but this list wouldn’t be complete without him. Click here to read about him in detail.

The Subjective Authority
This guy begins 88% of his sentences with the phrase “I’ll tell you what happened…”, followed by some definitive statement that he heard Colin Cowherd make on the radio that morning. Dude, I know you know if Brett Favre is going to retire or not, but just let ESPN do their job and talk about it every day of the entire summer.

The Fighter
I was at a game once where two guys started getting into a verbal sparring match. They eventually got to a point where fighting was the next logical step. Guy #1 shouted “You wanna take this outside?!” Guy#2 exclaimed “We are outside!” Then the hundred fans surrounding them mocked Guy #1 until he sat down in shame. Best fight I’ve ever seen.

The Poor Chopper
Your city probably has some unique thing that fans do during games. In Atlanta, we have the Tomahawk Chop. For those of you who don’t know, there are only two positions in the Chop – bent arm and extended arm. The beat that we chop to is far from complicated. Yet, somehow, Braves fans are physically incapable of getting on the same page with this. Watching a sellout crowd do the Chop is closely akin to watching a room full of our parents try to do the Cupid Shuffle together.

The Pessimist
This is the perfect way to describe us Georgia Tech fans. When something bad happens, we curse the team and shout things like “Classic Tech!” When something good happens, we act overly-surprised (especially in a crowd of people) and shout things like “Just wait…” I’ve found that this mindset makes it almost impossible to be disappointed.

Who did I miss?

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Everyone has a blog these days, right?

I mean, if my grandmother was still living and if she wasn’t afraid of technology and if she didn’t believe that computers were designed by the devil himself to lure weak-minded people to the depths of hell, well – I think she’d have a blog too.

And every blog is a little bit different.
But all those blog writers want the same thing, you know.

Readers.
Commenters.
Some quasi-interaction with the faces that see your stuff across the country or across the world or across the room.

And I don’t always read blogs that are just like mine.

You don’t have to have six kids for me to think you are hilarious.
I don’t need to believe what you believe about God or hair implants or dog racing or body piercings.

But there are a couple of definite ways to be certain that I will not be reading your next blog post, no matter how many times you retweet the link to your 612 followers.

So if you are really concerned about my readership of your blog, you should probably not do any of the following:

Consistently spell loads of words wrong.
I’ll overlook an error in spelling or a typo or two every now and again.
Because I’m forgiving like that.
But come on – every post?
Just use the spellchecker provided right there on your screen.
It’s not as if you have to drag out the old Webster’s any longer.
It’s a feature on your wordpress/blogger/what-have-you site.

Include any reference to your DS or your DD.
Seriously.
It took me far longer than I care to admit to discover what DS or DD meant.
Tyler says only “mom bloggers” use this term.  He’s probably right.
But you can’t deny that those “mommy blogs” are an internet cash cow these days.
And if even one of those moms is reading right now – this will be worth it.
Because now I know DS means darling son – and I think it’s just plain silly.
It makes you sound as if you have a butler named Belvedere answering the door at your place.
Who refers to their child as “darling” all the time anyway?
Just people with butlers is all.

Feature some kind of background music that overrides whatever sounds I am already listening to when I click over to your blog.
I just want to catch a glimpse of what is happening at your house, with your kids or your greyhounds or your body piercings.  You know. Whatever it is.
And suddenly all I hear is a song I didn’t plan on listening to right now.
Alright, I’ll admit.  I might not actually stop viewing your blog forever, because hey – you might be my friend.
But I’m not kidding when I say I will definitely hit mute as quickly as my index finger can reach the fourth button from the right on my keyboard.

Run your ads down both sides of the site.
Maybe I am just being anal here.
That’s possible.
But if your ads overwhelm your content, I’m pretty much done looking.
I’m a lazy blog reader.
And if I have to work hard to read your words?
Well.  I just won’t be doing that.

Only put up a new post about every other month.
I went to your blog because I liked reading about you.  And how your hair implants are making you more popular than ever at the office Christmas parties.
But remember this – I am a lazy blogger.
I’ve already mentioned that once, okay?
I don’t have time to click over to your site only to be greeted by a post dated July of 2009.
You just wasted thirty-four seconds of my morning.
So, listen.
If you plan on only writing about every other month, you can pretty much assume that I will be reading you even less than about every other month.

Check out more of Lacey’s writing at her blog SoEveryday.com.
___

Post sponsored by Atlanta Personal Injury Attorney, Robert N. Susko

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday was my son Parker’s Opening Day for Little League, and if you’ve been to one opening day, you’ve been to them all. There’s team pictures, ceremonial first pitches, parading the kids around like prized cattle, the handing out of individualized tobacco pouches, and eventually they even play a baseball game.

We’re really looking forward to this season because we have a great coach this year, something that hasn’t always been the case. If you’ve been through a bad sports coach before, you know just how annoying it can be. And if you WERE that bad coach for someone, well, you probably had no idea.

But hey, that’s what I’m here for. I don’t want you to be that coach that everyone is rolling their eyes at from the first base bleachers. So here’s a quick list of things to avoid that make sure you don’t turn into the Awful Little League Coach.

1. Do Not Show Up 15 Minutes Late for Most Practices – Listen buddy, I have a job too. We all do. And yet for the 3rd time this month, you’re the only one who’s a half hour late. Or more importantly, the bats, helmets, and bucket of balls are a half hour late. I guess the kids can stop running laps and vomiting now.

2. Make Sure you know the Lingo – This isn’t a quiz, I promise. I’m not looking for 3 different nicknames for a left-handed pitcher . But I have to draw the line somewhere, and the fact that you just said, “C’mon guys, we need to score 2 more points this period!” has me a little worried.

3. Know Your Limitations – Considering you haven’t broken into a jog since the mid-90s, it was probably a bad idea to show the kids how to round third base at full speed. On the bright side, it’s not every day you see a grown man run into a fence.

4. Do Not Give Talks that last for more than 5 Minutes – I’ll admit, I’m impressed that you understand the physics of the curve ball. But you lost the kids 10 minutes ago when you started throwing out the principles of the Magnus Effect. How about we put the periodic table away and just play catch?

5. Speak Nicely – I don’t care how you talk to your kids, but I do care how you talk to mine. Raise your voice like that one more time and this situation is gonna get as ugly as your throwing motion. (Speaking of which, congratulations on throwing a ball for the first time in your life tonight.)

So there’s 5 tips to get you started on the road to not being an awful little league coach. I’m sure the fine patrons of this blog can fill in the blanks and give you some additional pointers in the comments.

Now get out there, throw some batting practice, and please Don’t Be That Guy.

(When Bryan’s not at the ball field you can find him writing about the humorous side of life, faith, pop culture, and living among the Amish at his blog, BryanAllain.com. You can also find him wasting time at twitter.com/bryanallain.)
___

Post sponsored by Atlanta Personal Injury Attorney, Robert N. Susko

©2012 tylerstanton.com. All Rights Reserved.