…if you have ever purposely kissed your pet on the mouth.

…if you spend more than $100 on sunglasses or headphones.

…if you didn’t like Toy Story 3.

…if you give me grilling tips while I’m grilling.

…if you insist you can decipher all the differences between types of flat screen TVs.

…if you do squats and you’re not in high school.

…if you participate in Facebook quizzes.

…if you’ve engaged in a heated argument about football conference strength in the last month.

…if you wear cosmetic glasses.

…if you can name more Jersey Shore cast members than U.S. Congressmen.

…if you tell me why I should invest in gold.

…if you’ve ever gone to a tanning bed for a “base tan”.

…if you have one or more Apple stickers on your car.

…if you still have one or more 2008 presidential campaign stickers on your car.

…if your favorite hour of television consists of Two and a Half Men and Mike and Molly.

…if you wear Vibram FiveFingers.

…if you’ve ever told me that decorating a Christmas tree is a pagan tradition.

…if you parent my child.

…if you’re shirtless or wearing a bathing suit in your Facebook profile picture.

…if you evangelize about canceling cable.

…if I smell like you after we hug.

Your turn. What else tells you a lot about a person?

And for more in the I Already Know a Lot About You series, click here.

*Guilty on more than one account.

…if I know how far you ran this morning.

…if you rooted against the Saints in the Super Bowl.

…if you’ve ever used “it’s five o’clock somewhere” as a legitimate excuse to crack one open.

…if you own and wear an authentic NBA jersey.

…if your favorite song is by Big & Rich.

…if your Starbucks order requires you to repeat it multiple times.

…if you’ve left me no room to doubt how you feel about Obama.

…if you own a Droid.

…if you have these hanging from your car’s trailer hitch.

…if you still refuse to be on Twitter.

…if you’re jingling the change in the pocket of your pleated khakis right now.

…if you already own the iPad.

…if there’s nothing else you’d rather be doing right now than playing a card game.

…if you can’t wait to see this.

…if you’ve peeled out on purpose in the last 48 hours.

What else? Your comments on these are incredible.
___

This is the fourth post in what is by far my most judgmental series. Click here to read the first three, but more importantly, make sure to read the comments. As usual, they’re much better than the original posts.

(I warned you that this might become a series.)

…if you refer to coffee as java.

…if you acknowledge what I say with “I know, right?”

…if there’s a toothpick in your mouth right now.

…if you’re an online or iPhone gamer.

…if you express your political viewpoints via bumper stickers.

…if you ever order “the usual”.

…if you drive a Hummer.

…if you can’t wait for Jimmy Buffet.

…if your tip ever includes pennies.

…if you liked Twilight.

…if you didn’t shed a tear during The Biggest Loser last night.

…if you refer to dollars as “bones”.

…if you quote Quagmire more than twice a week.

…if your wife mows the lawn.

…if you give people massages without them asking.

…if you wear an athletic jersey while not participating in athletics.

What are some others? By the way, your comments on these posts are my favorite.

*At least three of the above are true about me. Guess which ones they are.
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(I’m warning you: This may become a series. I had such a great time reading your comments last time that I thought I’d do it again, you know, to get more brilliant comments.)

…if you’ve yelled “Git-r-done” in the last 48 hours.

…if you wear denim shirts.

…if your favorite TV show was created by Tyler Perry.

…if your vanity license plate reads “MY STANG”

…if you insist on playing guitar in a room full of people.

…if you repeat the joke I just told without giving proper credit.

…if you still talk about that pass you threw against Central senior year.

…if you have a tattoo higher than the collar of your shirt.

…if you just got back from Captain D’s.

…if we just met and you immediately want to talk about politics or theology.

…if you and your spouse wear matching shirts.

…if you still wear your class ring.

…if you’d rather play 21 (with defenders) than Jump 21 (no defenders).

…if you wear boots with shorts.

…if you do a palm explosion after a fist pound.

Your turn. What else tells you a lot about a person?
___

…if you have a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on your arm

…if you excessively decorate your front yard for all major holidays

…if you order half Diet Coke/half regular Coke

…if your method of carrying your phone is the hip-clip

…if you frame pictures of your pets

…if your favorite movie stars the Wayans Brothers

…if you wear sunglasses indoors

…if you forward me emails with an animated American flag

…if you use MySpace

…if your biceps are bigger than your thighs

…if you wear your bluetooth device outside your car

…if you wear black t-shirts with witty phrases on the front

…if you’re still using AOL

…if you ever tell me how many points you scored in a game

…if you’re still impersonating Ace Ventura

Your turn. What else tells you a lot about a person?
___